


you and me plus baby makes three

by alnima



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: (kind of), Accidental Baby Acquisition, Alternate Universe, Enemies to Lovers, Inspired by Life As We Know It, Inspired by a Movie, Kid Fic, M/M, Sexual Content, mentions of Zayn Malik/Louis Tomlinson, niall and zayn get the baby after the death of their friends, the friends are original characters and its not really talked about much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-26
Updated: 2014-12-26
Packaged: 2018-02-28 15:53:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2738270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alnima/pseuds/alnima
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the death of their friends, Zayn and Niall are forced to raise a baby together. Not like they have a problem with that, just a problem with each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you and me plus baby makes three

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PornyZiallFeels](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PornyZiallFeels/gifts).



> This is for [Jen](http://archiveofourown.org/users/pornyziallfeels), a Christmas gift to let her know how thankful I am for all her help when it comes to my ideas and stories, all of her self-esteem boosting when I'm feeling particularly down about myself, for being one of the few people that know I'm not a rotten monster (even though I kind of am), and for being a great friend. I'm glad to have someone like you that I can talk to about things without worrying that you're thinking I'm crazy or a horrible person, and of course, someone to listen to the millions upon millions of ideas that drift through my head everyday. I appreciate that and I appreciate you, so I hope you enjoy this. Happy Christmas. 
> 
> I tried to make this story as much of what Jen loves as I could, but.... I'm a rotten monster and some of what I love slipped in, it'll be painfully obvious as to what those details are and I'm _so_ sorry. 
> 
> OH! As the summary says, Niall and Zayn's friends die and that's how they get the baby, I made them original characters and the death isn't described or talked about really, it's just mentioned in the very beginning.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't know or own anyone. This work is my own and it is not featured on any other site, nor does anyone have my permission to repost it in its entirety. Thank you!!!

Niall feels numbs when he first hears the news, feels like his legs are going to give out and he’ll collapse on the floor. Time seems to move a little slower, the ringing in his ears taking over any kind of sound, it’s all he can hear, but he’s aware that there is something happening around him. He can feel Zayn gripping onto his arm, squeezing and squeezing with all of his might, but Niall can’t feel a thing, still numb from the news about the loss.

There is a woman in a suit across from them, long hair in tight ringlets that would have Niall fascinated if it was any other day, the way they bounced when she moved, but not today. She’s talking, but he’s not listening, focusing on the gold of her necklace as it stands out against her skin. Zayn’s talking; he can feel the vibrations of it through his palms, burning patterns into Niall’s skin where they’re connected at the touch.

“What about Chloe?” Niall asks, his head snapping up to look at the woman, because it’s now the only thing he can think about, it’s no longer about the cracks his own heart, or the numbing feeling that’s slowly taking over him, but about his friend’s little girl who lost her parents, and he needs to know where she is, if she’s all right.

Zayn’s thumb rubs against his skin, like he can sense that Niall’s on edge, and Niall squeezes his own knee in anticipation.

“She’s been transferred someplace temporarily until we can find a more permanent solution,” the woman explains, and Niall huffs and rolls his eyes.

“She’s okay though, right?”

“Yes, sir, she was here at home with a babysitter at the time of the accident.”

Niall breathes a sigh of relief, his entire body sagging, like gravity is doing its job and then some, but it’s a small weight lifted off his shoulder.

“What did you mean by something more permanent? I don’t understand,” Zayn says, his eyebrows pulling together. “Where exactly is she at right now?”

“She’s being taken to a foster home for the night, or for however long it takes to find out what her living situation is going to be,” she explains, looking at Niall and Zayn. “Maggie and Jordan, did they ever talk to you about their will? About what wishes they might have for Chloe if something were to happen to them?”

“No,” Niall answers, because it’s not usually something that people talk about, the what if’s that come after death. It’s not something that Niall would want to talk about. He turns to Zayn, wondering if Zayn knows something that he doesn't, but Zayn is shaking his head, looking at the woman in concentration.

“Maggie and Jordan, they noted you both as the people that should gain custody of Chloe if anything should happen to them,” she says carefully, watching Niall and Zayn’s reactions closely. Zayn’s grip on Niall’s arm is fierce and firm, and Niall would worry that it was going to bruise if he could focus on anything other than the movement of the woman’s mouth, because what?

She’s talking about how Zayn and Niall both have assumed responsibly of Chloe, of the little nine-month-old girl that their friends left behind, and Niall doesn’t know the first fucking thing about babies. He knows how to make Chloe laugh, knows the songs to sing that capture her attention when she’s crying, but he has no fucking clue what it takes to raise a child. He’s known Zayn two years; two years and most of them have been spent at each other’s throat. And now, now they’re being asked if they want to assume responsibility for a child, together.

Niall’s not sure how he feels about this, but part of him, a giant, massive part of him, wonders if they’re the people that should be taking care of the child.

“Mr. Horan, Chloe is only yours if you want her,” the woman says and Niall must have wondered that last bit aloud, because Zayn’s glaring at him now, his grip less comforting and more like an angry pinch. “She has plenty of relatives, others that could be asked.”

“Ow, that hurts,” Niall says, ripping his arm from Zayn’s grip. “Relatives, we should talk to them, shouldn’t we?”

“Niall, shut up,” Zayn hisses, glaring at Niall still and Niall wants to argue the point with him, wants to spell it out in neon-fucking-letters that they’re not ready for this. They’re not prepared to take on any kind of responsibility, Zayn with his teaching gig and giant stick up his ass, and Niall, who, yeah he doesn’t have much of a job right now, but he’s going places. He wants to, at least. “What if one of us wanted to take responsibility for Chloe? Then what happens?”

Niall frowns. “Yeah, what if one of us wants her?”

“That would be up to you, but a social worker will be by every now and again to check up on you and report back to a judge about how you’re doing.”

“A judge?” Niall repeats.

“Yes, if you both, or one of you takes on responsibility for the child then it’ll only be temporary, a trial run until the courts decide, with the help of the social worker’s visits, if you should get permanently,” she explains and Niall nods, because that makes sense.

Zayn nods and releases a deep breath before he says, “Well, I’d like to do whatever it takes to have Chloe, if Maggie and Jordan wanted her with us, then I’ll take her.”

What the fuck, Niall thinks, he’s not going to be upstaged by Zayn fucking Malik, so he blurts, without thinking, “Me too.”

Zayn turns to look at him and Niall shrugs, because it’s his goddaughter too and Jordan’s parents are crazy, and it’s what his friend wanted, one of the last wishes that he made, and Niall’s not going to disrespect that. He’s not ready for a child, he doesn’t think Chloe is even ready for him, but he’s going to do this.

“I was hoping you’d say that,” she says, standing up and grinning at them. “I’ll be by tomorrow morning with the child.”

“Just like that?” Niall asks, shaking his head. “You’re not even going to see if we’re drug dealers? I could make meth for a living.”

“Niall, shut up,” Zayn groans, not even trying to hide it when he reaches over and slaps Niall in the arm. “Just shut up.”

“Do you make meth, Mr. Horan?”

“No,” Niall says, shrugging, “but it’d have been nice if you asked,” he mumbles, and the woman nods once before she turns to leave. Zayn’s up first, ready to walk her out the door and Niall wants to flip him off as he goes, because Zayn’s glaring at him behind the woman’s back as he talks all cheerful, like they’re not about to make one of the biggest mistakes of their life.

>>+<<

The bar is packed with people and the lights are bright and flashing as Zayn shoves through the crowd, holding his drinks up in the air as he tries not to spill them when people bump into him. He can hear Harry behind him, his low gravelly voice politely asking people to step out of the way as they shove through the crowd.

Zayn spots Maggie in the back, her long, orange-colored hair standing out in the crowd along with her grin as she waves at the pair. Zayn loves her, but he hates her for choosing the loudest place in town for get together this week. It’s probably in protest to the quiet coffee shop that Zayn chose two weeks ago - pardon him for wanting to hear his friends when they talk. Plus, at a coffee shop no one has to carry Harry’s gangly body at the end of the evening, unlike what they’ll be doing tonight.

“Hey, took you two long enough,” Maggie greets, standing up to give a kiss to Zayn’s cheek and then Harry’s.

“Sorry,” Zayn mumbles, setting down the drink he got her and then his own. “It took ages to find parking.”

“What he means is that it took ages to find a place near the door,” Harry mutters, grinning wildly when Zayn glares at him.

“If I’m going to have to carry your ass out of here, then I want to know that I won’t be doing it for long,” Zayn counters.

“All right, all right,” Maggie says, waving her hands around. “No fighting, drink your drink, darling.”

Zayn rolls his eyes and takes a sip before he sets his glass down, trying not to flinch at the taste. Harry always orders the strongest thing on the menu.

“Nope, drink the whole thing, Malik,” she says before she dives back into her own, tilting her head back and draining the glass. Zayn does the same, but he likes to think that he does it with a bit of class, not like anyone in this place cares how he tosses back a drink, if at all, only his friends give a damn about that.

“Does your husband know that he’s going to be holding your hair back later?” Harry asks, stifling a laugh.

“Not married yet,” Maggie sings, pointing to the diamond on her finger. She’s grinning and Zayn’s only a little bit jealous, he’d like to have someone in his life, and of course she’s got a stupid ring on her finger that glares at Zayn every time he’s with her, taunting him with her love and happiness.

“Not much longer,” Zayn says, smiling at her.

“No not at all,” Maggie replies, still smiling. There’s something behind it, a hint of mischief that makes Zayn’s stomach turn.

“What did you do?” He asks.

Maggie places a hand over her heart and acts shocked for a moment. “Me? Nothing. I’ve not done a thing, have I, Haz?”

“Of course not,” Harry replies, wiping some of the alcohol off of the corner of his mouth. “Not yet, anyway.”

Zayn groans, because this is never a good thing, not when the two of them are conspiring about something. Their intentions are always in the right place, but they have some of the most truly awful ideas, and all of them have to do with-

“He’s a really great guy,” Maggie says. “He’s one of Jordan’s friends, you’ve not met him yet, but I think you’d be perfect for each other.”

Zayn’s eyes narrow as he looks at her. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“I’m going to get more drinks,” Harry mumbles before he disappears. Zayn hears Maggie mutter a quiet thanks before she shakes it off, turning to look at Zayn.

“My wedding is coming up, just around the corner, Harry’s met a lovely girl and then…” She trails off, biting her lip and Zayn knows the ‘and you’re all alone’ is implied in the silence. He clears his throat and sits back a little in his chair. “Zayn, it’s not a bad thing, I was just thinking that it’s been ages since you’ve been with anyone, you and Harry broke up two years ago, and you’ve had your little dates, but I think that you’ll really like this guy. He’s charming, funny, very kind, and he’s ambitious, I know you love that.”

“What’s his name?” Zayn asks, trying his hardest to feign indifference. It has been a while since he’s gone out.

“Niall.”

“Niall?” He repeats, frowning. What a silly name.

“I know, I know, it’s different, but he’s really great. Just, give it a chance? For me?” Maggie begs, gripping onto his arm and doing her best to look innocent, eyes wide and bottom lip jutted out just so.

Zayn sighs. “All right, fine, but he better not be a loser,” he mumbles.

Maggie cheers and shakes his arm a bit where she’s still holding onto him. “He agreed,” she calls and Zayn looks up to see Harry appearing out of the crowd with three drinks held in his freakishly large hands.

Harry smiles and nods his head, shooting Zayn a thumbs up when he gets the drinks off the table. “I’ve seen pictures, he’s pretty fucking cute.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” Zayn mumbles, picking up his drink and taking a sip, something to distract himself.

“Of course you will, darling. Now, back to girl’s night,” Maggie cheers while both Harry and Zayn groan, they’ve told her to stop calling it that.

>>+<<

A few days later, after Zayn has sufficiently gotten over his hangover, does he remember that he’s supposed to be getting in contact with the Niall bloke that he’s supposed to be going out with. Maggie gave him his number, texted it to him and reminded him that he needed to set the whole thing up, because her responsibilities started and ended with getting Zayn to agree.

It’s not as hard as it should be, texting someone you don’t know that you’re ready for their date and to see if they have any ideas on what they’d like to do. It shouldn’t be hard at all, and maybe it’s not for someone that’s a bit more outgoing, someone that’s used to reaching out to people. And Zayn’s not that person, so he stares at his phone, stares at the numbers that’ll connect him to Niall and wonders if he could pretend that he was given the wrong number, tried his hardest to text it but the person on the other end was named…Bryan or something. He considers it, shrugging to himself, because that’s a plan, but then he remembers that Maggie has the proof on her phone, the numbers saved in a text and suddenly his plan is shot to shit. He’ll have to sneak into Maggie’s phone, delete the conversation, see if he can contact the phone provider about fixing up the time stamps on it, because honestly, they pay enough to the company that they should be able to do him a solid and help him forge a text message.

No, Zayn thinks, shaking his head and sighing. He rubs his palms across his face and tells himself to get a grip.

Zayn pulls open the text message and five minutes later, after he managed a simple ‘ _hey, this Zayn. I’m Maggie’s friend’,_ he presses send and hopes for the best.

Zayn sighs and rubs his hands against his thighs, unsure of what to do with his self now that he’s waiting for Niall’s response. He hopes that Niall will know who he is and that Maggie hadn’t been lying when she said that he knew that he’d be hearing from Zayn.

Just as Zayn’s about to type another message further explaining who he is and why he’s texting, his phone beeps, a short chime that lets him know Niall has replied and said, **my mystery man.**

Zayn tugs at his collar, because that’s, well… He’s not, like. He’s not that.

 _I guess,_ he types back, clearing his throat like Niall’s in front of him and can tell that he’s a bit nervous. _Maggie said that we’re supposed to like, go out or something._

**I thought Jordan was taking the piss when he said that I’d be hearing from someone named Zayn, bit of an odd name, Zayn.**

“Because Niall is so fucking common,” Zayn mumbles under his breath.

_No, um. I’m real._

**That’s good! I’d hate to show to dinner and find the chair across from me empty, be a bit awkward,** Niall replies and Zayn shrugs because yeah, it would be. **But not to worry, I’m sure the waitress would take pity on me.**

Zayn stares at his phone, unsure of how to respond to Niall implying that he’d pick up their waitress on their date. He assumes it’s a joke, an unfunny one, but a joke nonetheless.

 _Yeah, listen, I’m a bit busy,_ Zayn lies, cross his feet at the ankle, _so do you want to like, set up a plan or something? I don’t know if you had a date in mind, but I’d like to know so that I can put it in my schedule._

**Yeah sure, give me your address and I’ll work out the details. There’s this place downtown that we can go.**

Zayn replies with his address and tells Niall that he’ll meet him at seven. Setting his phone down on his lap, he takes a deep breath, because it might not be that bad, Zayn thinks, Niall seems like an all right guy, a little…out there, but all right over all. Maybe it’ll be fun, maybe.

>>+<<

Zayn’s sat in his living room waiting, tapping his foot against the hardwood waiting for Niall to be pick him up. He’s been waiting for over thirty minutes now, and there’s honestly only so much lint rolling he can do to his black pants and matching shirt, only so much he can run his fingers through his hair to get it to lay right, and only so much staring at his watch before he gives up on the whole idea of a blind date.

It wasn’t his idea to begin with, but Maggie worries about him, and he understands, but he didn’t need to get set up on a date with her husband, Jordan’s friend Niall. He’s not lonely, and he’s been happy with his life, but he didn’t want to disappoint her, and in his defense, she kind of made it seem like Niall was going to be a great guy, and so far, thirty minutes late, he’s not looking that great.

Zayn refuses to admit that as the week played out that he had begun to feel…excited for this date. He even bought new shoes, granted, they look just like the rest of his collection of Doc Marten’s, but still, they’re new, and Niall is late. Late enough that they’ll miss their reservations, which they were supposed to be at five minutes ago, unless his watch his broken, which it very well could be, he’s not sure. He checks the time on it and then compares it to the clock on his wall, and when he sees that they’re the same, he pulls out his phone.

He tries the number that he texted a few days ago, it rings once, twice, three times before he gives up and hangs up, tossing his phone off to the side and grabbing the remote instead, if he’s going to wait then he’s going to catch up on his favorite shows, something he doesn’t usually have time for, but thanks to Niall, it looks like he does, finally.

>>+<<

Niall runs his hands through his hair before he steps out of the car, checking the address scribbled on the back of his hand one more time to make sure that he’s at the right place before he jogs up the driveway and bangs on the front door. It’s a little after nine, he thinks, and his shirt is embarrassingly wrinkled, so he rubs his palms across it and tries not to peek in the window next to the door to see if anyone is coming to answer it.

He’s fixing the buttons on his shirt when the door is yanked open and reveals what very well could be one of the prettiest people that he’s ever seen, and he’s seen a lot of people. This guy is in the top five, probably.

“Hey, sorry I’m late,” Niall says as way of greeting, hoping that his grin is charming enough. “I’m Niall.” He holds his hand out, ready to shake the other guys, clap it, something other than just have it suspended in air while Zayn looks at it. “You Zayn?”

“You’re two hours late,” Zayn says as his own greeting, which yeah, maybe Niall is kind of late.

Niall lowers his hand and shrugs. “I got caught up, is the thing.”

“I see, well, we missed our reservations.”

“Oh that’s not a problem,” Niall says, waving him off. “I know the guy who makes reservations, we’ll be fine. He owes me a favor.”

“He owes you a favor?”

“I introduced him to his wife, of course he owes me a favor,” Niall says, rolling his eyes. “Are you ready to go?”

“I suppose,” Zayn says, stepping back inside of his house. He doesn’t say anything else and Niall is left on his doorstep wondering if he’s supposed to be heading inside. He shoves his hands in his pockets and waits, because he’d gladly skip dinner, if that’s what Zayn’s plans are. The guy is fit, even if he does kind of have a stick up his ass.

Zayn returns a minute later, shoving his wallet and phone in his pockets before he steps out next to Niall and locks his door. “Let’s go, let’s get on with this,” Zayn mutters, heading down his walkway. “Which car is yours?”

So it’s not kind of, this guy definitely has a stick up his ass. “It’s this one,” Niall says, heading towards Zayn and walking around him, motioning towards the one that’s blocking Zayn’s driveway. It should be obvious, but the stick is probably fucking up his vision somehow. He clicks the button to unlock it, and steps inside, not bothering with opening the door for Zayn.

“Well,” Zayn mumbles, getting into the passenger seat. “It’s, um, a bit roomy.”

“Chicks dig it,” Niall says in response; shoving his keys in the ignition and starting it so he can fumble with the radio, try to find something decent that doesn’t make Zayn frown.

“Chicks?”

“Yeah, chicks, you know, like, girls?”

“I know what girls are, Niall,” Zayn mutters, rolling his eyes again. He folds his arms over his chest and huffs, and when the frown wipes off his face, Niall knows that he found the right radio station.

As they’re driving, roughly five minutes from Zayn’s house, Niall’s phone chimes from its place on the center counsel. Niall doesn’t bother to do a peek at it, just says, “Would you mind checking that? I’m waiting to hear from someone, just want to see if it’s them.”

“I guess,” Zayn mumbles, shifting around to get the phone. Niall glances at him, watches as he reads the text.

“Well, what does it say?”

“It’s from someone named Leigh-Anne, she wants to know if you’re coming over tonight.”

“Oh fuck, Leigh-Anne, she’s sick, mate. Tell her I’ll be over soon, just have to get through this,” Niall supplies, grinning, because Leigh is always a good time, one of his favorite good times. “Leigh is great, so funny but so fucking fit. God, I think I’ve got a picture of her in there, she sent me one earlier, just scroll up a bit to see it. She’s clothed, so don’t worry, just don’t scroll up too far, she’d fucking kill me if you looked at that one.”

“Pull over,” Zayn demands, his voice rough and annoyed. “Pull the car over, turn around, and take me home.”

“What? Why?” Niall asks, confused, because god, he hasn’t even done anything and the stick up this guy’s ass is already forming new branches and making him even more irritable.

“You’re planning a booty call in front of me, this is supposed to be a date, Niall. You don’t do that on a date.”

Niall scoffs and shakes his head. “Yeah but like, you only did this for Maggie, and I’m only in this for Jordan, so what’s the foul?”

“The foul is that they wanted this to work out, but you’re a pig and disgusting and you’re going to take me home. As soon as I get home, I’m calling Maggie and telling her everything that I can to let her know that I never want to see you again, because you’re swine, now take me home.”

“Well all right, Princess,” Niall huffs. “But you can’t honestly believe that we’re never going to see each other again, our best friends are getting married soon, we’ll both be at the wedding.” Niall grins at him and Zayn scowls even harder, if that’s even possible.

>>+<<

“Why won’t she stop crying?” Niall groans and Zayn scoffs, rolling his eyes, because that’s hardly helping the situation.

“I don’t know, Niall,” Zayn says, shifting Chloe to the other hip, wanting to give his left ear a break from her piercing screams as she wails. “I think you complaining about it is truly helping.”

“What do you want me to do?” Niall stammers, his voice raising a few octaves.

“Take her and put her in her chair, I’m going to get some food, she’s obviously hungry,” Zayn instructs, passing the baby over. She pauses for a minute, and both Niall and Zayn freeze. They stare at each other, hopeful that it’s finished as she coughs, glancing up at Niall with glassy blue eyes. Her face immediately pulls into a frown, her lips pulling down impossibly low and Zayn winces when she cries this time, the sound cutting straight through him.

“Don’t cry, pretty girl,” Niall murmurs, bouncing Chloe in his arms and patting her back as he walks her towards her high chair.

Food, Zayn thinks, staring at his deceased best friend’s kitchen. Right. Fridge.

Zayn moves as quickly as he can, because Chloe has been screaming for what feels like an hour, even if it’s only been five minutes. It had come on so suddenly, this wave of hunger taking over and stealing away the happy, bubbly baby that had greeted them when the social worker dropped her off, cooing and babbling at them as she crawled around the house, laughing when Niall pretended to bounce his head off the couch. It had made for beautiful giggles, the happiest of noises in the saddest of times, and it made Zayn feel better to know that Chloe wasn’t hurting, that she doesn’t understand what happened to her parents and why she’s stuck with them.

But the happiness and laughter were short lived, because babies turn upset at the drop of a hat, going from laughing to whining to full on crying well before you even realize what’s happening. They had tried everything, bringing her different toys, changing her diaper, rocking her, but none of it worked, so naturally, that left hunger as the only viable reason for her tears.

“Can you hurry up in there?” Niall sings, his voice raised high as he dances Chloe’s stuffed bunny along the edge of the tray attached to her seat. “She’s pissed.”

“Yeah, I’m coming,” Zayn says, slamming the fridge door closed and rushing towards the pantry and finding a stock pile of baby food. He breathes a sigh of relief when he finds out a package that reads, “Squash and sweet peas, coming right up.”

He grabs a bowl and a spoon, and does his best to squirt the liquid meal into the bowl. “Mm, yummy, yummy,” Zayn coos, stirring it up a bit. Chloe hiccups a bit when she sees the bowl, choking on a sob and looking at him for a brief moment before she begins kicking her arms and legs, huffing. “Oh yeah, see, this is going to be yummy. Niall, get her a bib.”

“She’s not going to eat that,” Niall mutters, reaching around Zayn to put on a lilac colored bib with a polar bear on it. “That looks like shit, literal shit.”

“She’s not eating regular food yet, Niall, she has to have it pureed like this.”

“Chloe, do you want to eat this?” Niall asks, motioning towards the bowl.

Chloe kicks and starts to whine, tugging at her bib. “Don’t you worry, babe, I’ve got the yummy stuff,” Zayn says, babbling complete nonsense as he puts some on the spoon, hoping to distract her. “Okay, open wide,” he instructs as he directs the spoon towards her mouth.

Chloe takes the first bite easily, accepting it into her mouth with ease before she gags, spitting it back out completely and onto her bib.

“Chlo, no. No, no,” Zayn mutters, scooping up more food to try and feed it to her, but Chloe clamps her mouth shut, shifting her head to the side quickly so the food from the spoon spills out on her cheek. “No, come on, sweetie. You’re hungry, don’t you want some lunch?”

“Yeah, she wants lunch. She doesn’t want shit,” Niall replies for her.

“Niall,” Zayn says, trying to keep his voice even. “She doesn’t know what she wants, she’s a baby. She’s hungry, so she has to eat. This is good for her.”

“Give her something she wants, give her some bananas or something.”

“I already opened this, she has to eat it otherwise this is garbage.”

“Well, then toss it out. It looks like actual shit, Zayn, what don’t you understand about that?” Niall asks, pointing towards the bowl. “Take a bite.”

“I’m not taking a bite,” Zayn scoffs, rolling his eyes.

“If you’re going to feed that to her, then you need to know what it tastes like. Take a bite.”

“I’m not taking a bite.”

“Take a bite.”

“I’m not taking a bite.”

“Just take a bite,” Niall says and at that moment Chloe screams, angry sobs as she noise erupts out of her, her mouth pulled open wide and eyes crinkled shut, tears already forming at the corner.

“You upset her,” Zayn says, frowning, turning to rant to Niall about not undermining him at meal time like this, because Chloe knows, she just knows that they’re arguing and it upsets her, but Niall is raiding the pantry. Stupid stick of a boy always packing away the food, Zayn thinks, rolling his eyes.

Niall comes rushing back, a grin on his face and shaking a canister of something. Zayn can’t read it, Niall’s pale hand wrapped around the label, but he’s popping open the top and dumping stuff onto Chloe’s tray that, once again, has caused her crying to cease. She looks at it for a moment, glancing up at Niall and then back down to the food before she picks one up in her fist and puts it in her mouth, chewing sloppily with her mouth open, exposing her two little bottom teeth.

“Puffs,” Niall brags, holding the canister like a model on television, showing it off to Zayn. “She loves them.”

“How did you know that she loves them?”

Niall shrugs. “Jordan always used to give them to her, would put her in this seat, sprinkle them on the tray and drag it into the living room so we could play FIFA for a while. She’d sit here and just munch away, sometimes shout things at us, but she was good, always seemed to love them,” he says. He’s still smiling at Zayn, this stupid, smug grin that drives Zayn crazy, for all kinds of reasons.

Zayn refuses to admit that Niall is right, refuses to make him smile even more, showing off his perfectly white teeth and annoying, but lovely grin, so he simply nods and says, “Well, I mean, if you want to feed her junk.”

That forces a laugh out of Niall, a sharp sound that’s pulled from his gut that causes him to clench his stomach and toss his head back. The sound startles Chloe, making her jump slightly as she turns back up to look at Niall, watching him as he laughs. It makes the smallest of smiles appear on his own face, but he refuses to be enamored with him, because it’s Niall, and he’s… They don’t usually get along, ever since the horrid blind date, they fight, and that’s their thing, not shy smiles and boisterous laughter.

“Just go into the cabinet and get her some of those yogurt melts,” Niall instructs, shoving at Zayn’s shoulder before he turns to address Chloe. “Right? You love some yogurt melts, don’t you, pretty girl?”

Chloe coos at him, babbling nonsense before she grabs another puff and shoves it in her mouth.

Zayn sighs and grabs the squash and sweet peas, tossing the uneaten food into the sink before he heads to grab the yogurt melts. It’s their first day together, Zayn figures that if she’s still eating like this come day three, then he’ll consider it a problem. For now, he’s just happy that she stopped screaming.

>>+<<

“Is she sleeping?” Niall asks, doing his best to keep his voice quiet as Zayn appears in front of him. It had taken an hour to get Chloe to fall asleep, going through bottles, a warm bath, singing to her, rocking her, everything that they could think of, but nothing worked. Niall’s not sure what made her finally fall asleep, if she’s asleep, maybe Zayn just left her in there to try it on her own.

“Yeah, she’s finally out,” Zayn mumbles around a yawn, stretching his arms up above his head and exposing a small expanse of skin above the waistband of his pants, showing off tattooed words along his hip, the faint point of something along his navel. Niall’s seen it before, remembers it from a party that Maggie and Jordan had before they married. It wasn’t really a party, just a get together at a hotel where they spent the evening at the casino and then at the hotel pool, Niall thinks it might be a heart, but he’s not certain, doesn’t want to ask. “God, I’m tired.”

“Yeah, I know,” Niall agrees. His bones feel heavy, his eyes dry and he knows that if he closes them for more than a second, longer than it takes to blink, he’ll fall asleep. “How are we going to work out the sleeping arrangements?”

“I don’t know,” Zayn replies shrugging.

“One of us could take the guest room, and the other can have Maggie and Jordan’s room.”

“No,” Zayn mutters, shaking his head. “It feels too weird to sleep in their bed, ya know?”

“Yeah, but I’m not sleeping on the couch,” Niall says.

Zayn nods, a slow grin spreading across his face. “Yeah you are.”

Niall scoffs, laughing despite himself, because Zayn truly believes that, and he’s reminded once again of the stick up his ass, the one that hasn’t gone away in the two years that they’ve known each other. “Let’s flip for it,” Niall reasons, digging around in his pocket and pulling out a coin. “Heads I get the guest room, tails you do.”

“Fair enough,” Zayn says, nodding for Niall to flip it.

The coin spins the air and it misses Niall’s hand on the landing, bouncing off the floor and rolling away a bit. “Shit,” Niall mutters, rushing after it and glancing at it. “Aha, heads. Bed is mine, Malik.” He turns around with a grin on his face, ready to rub it in Zayn’s face, only to find that Zayn is waving at him from the end of the hall before he closes the guest bedroom door.

“Fuck,” Niall curses, because why didn’t he think of that? He kicks at the ground, wincing when it makes a noise. He stills, bracing himself for a scream to come out of Chloe’s room, but it doesn’t come. So he counts his blessings and heads back towards the living room, grabbing a blanket from the closet on his way.

It’s like Zayn said, it doesn’t feel right sleeping in his friend’s bed. It’s odd enough being in his house, taking care of his baby with a man that until recently, would have never opted to be alone with Niall. Zayn’s spent two years being sparse at appearances if Niall was there, unless Maggie begged, or until Chloe was born and they both wanted to be around, Niall thinks that it was some kind of silent competition, one that they never talked about, one that was only taking place in Zayn’s head.

Niall sighs as he shifts around on the pillow, punching it a little bit before he rolls onto his side. It takes what feels like a fleeting moment before he’s fast asleep, forgetting about what happened to his friends, forgetting about custody of a little girl, and forgetting about the boy that’s sleeping upstairs, the one that he’s now stuck raising a child with.

It feels like ten minutes, but in reality, it’s been a little over two hours when Niall is jerked into awake, nearly falling off the couch at the piercing screams that are coming from upstairs. It’s Chloe, obviously, and Niall groans, rubbing at his tired face. He’s exhausted, and he wants to sleep, needs to sleep, but she’s properly wailing, these horrible sobs that rip through him, so he rushes towards the sound.

Chloe’s bedroom is illuminated in a soft yellow glow from a night light, a little pink egg on her changing table that allows Niall to see as he moves swiftly to her bed. She’s resting her head on the mattress, on her knees with her butt in the air. She’s screaming into the mattress and Niall reaches down slowly for her, getting his hands under her arms and lifting her gently.

“Oh what’s the matter with my pretty girl, huh? It’s okay,” Niall coos, holding her against his chest and rubbing her back. She sputters for a moment, lifting her head off Niall’s shoulder to look at him. Her eyes are glassy, and her bottom lip wobbles for a moment before she starts to cry again, mouth pulled down and face scrunched up. “Aw, no baby girl, don’t cry.”

Niall bounces her in his arms, trying his best to find a pacifier in the dark. He finds one; the green one with the little stuffed pig attached to one end and tries to put it in her mouth. She allows it for a moment before she’s spitting it out, screaming again.

“Oh god,” Niall groans, patting Chloe’s back as he rushes down the hall to the spare bedroom. He knocks the door open, walking blindly in the dark to the bed where he starts shaking Zayn. It’s amazing that he’s still sleeping; somehow managing to miss the sound of Chloe’s cries and the feeling of Niall’s hands on his bare back, shaking him violently.

Zayn sighs in his sleep and rolls over, shoving at Niall’s hand and pulling the pillow over his head, blocking out the noise.

“What a joke,” Niall mumbles, shaking his head. He resists the urge to slap Zayn on the ass while he sleeps; instead he slips out of the room as quietly as he can with a screaming infant. “Let’s get you a bottle, huh babe? Is that what you want? My pretty girl tired?”

The bottle, as it turns out, is exactly what Chloe wants. Her crying ceases as she starts sucking, gulping down the formula and Niall sighs, his body sagging against the rocking chair, because finally. Finally she’s done screaming.

“You’re just a hungry girl, huh? Hungry like your Nialler,” he whispers, smiling at Chloe as she stares at him, her hand coming up to grip at his face, scratching his cheek as she drinks. “You’re a loud girl, gonna have to teach you words. Do you want to learn words? We’re gonna have to teach you how to wake up Zayn. Don’t you think Zayn should wake up? I do. I don’t think he should sleep, he gets that big fluffy bed, and what do we get, huh? A rocking chair, that’s right.”

Niall talks to her until she finishes her bottle and then he rocks her, humming quietly until they both fall asleep like that, Chloe bundled up underneath a yellow blanket and snuggled into Niall’s chest.

>>+<<

When Niall wakes up later, there’s a crick in his neck, a pain from having his head tilted to the side and a shooting pain at the end of his spine. He stretches his legs out, arms moving to be held high as he stretches out his muscles. Everything feels tight and cramped up from being stuck in this rocking chair all night with Chloe. Niall’s eyes blink open quickly at the thought of the little girl, realizing that he shouldn’t be able to stretch his limbs this way and hold onto a baby.

Zayn’s stood on the other side of the room, his back to Niall as he works on changing Chloe’s diaper, cooing words of encouragement at her as she babbles incessantly, words that are just varying sounds jumbled together, she sounds happier than she did when Niall woke up for the second time last night to change her diaper, less thrashing and less screaming.

“Glad to see you’re finally awake,” Niall mumbles, yawning and rubbing at his eyes.

Zayn grins at him, pulling the tabs over Chloe’s diaper. “Did she wake up last night?”

Niall snorts. “Yeah, she did. Was proper wailing until I gave her a bottle, tried to wake you up, but between my slapping you and her angry cries, nothing seemed like it was going to work.”

“Yeah, sorry. I’m a bit of a heavy sleeper.”

“I’d say that’s an understatement, mate.”

“Well, for what it’s worth I’m sorry.”

Niall yawns again, nodding. “You can make it up to me by watching her today, I’ve got plans with Ed. Or well, I’m going to be making plans with Ed. If I’m going to be taking her at night, then you get her during the day.”

“No, I don’t think so,” Zayn replies, shaking his head. “You’re gonna have to watch her today.”

“I had her all night, Zayn.”

“And I have a job, one that I need to get to before my students, so I need to get ready,” Zayn says, his tone a little too sharp for Niall’s liking, like he’s talking to one of his fourth grade students and not a grown adult. “I’ve fed her, changed her, and now she’s all yours. I need to shower still and get ready for work.”

Chloe’s looking at them, her head moving back and forth as she stares at whoever is talking, her eyes wide and concentrating.

“So what am I supposed to do about my plans with Ed?” Niall asks, trying his best to sound sharp and insulting like Zayn, because Zayn’s a pretty idiot with a stick up his ass, he deserves Niall’s tone.

“You mean the ones that you just said you were planning on making? The ones that you don’t actually have?” Zayn replies, raising an eyebrow at Niall.

Niall scoffs, shaking his head, trying his hardest to figure out a comeback, willing his mind to be sharp and quick, to come up with something, anything, but he’s tired, in his defense, having been up with the baby all night, so he’s not working at his best here. He’s at a handicap. Zayn had a full nights sleep.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Zayn replies, passing Chloe over to Niall. “Have fun today, sweetheart. I’ll see you later.” He presses a kiss to Chloe’s head and she squeals, leaning back against Niall and throwing her arm out in the air.

“Bye, honey,” Niall says, while Chloe waves, flapping her arm around in Zayn’s direction to say her own good-bye to him.

“Have fun,” Zayn mutters, grinning before he disappears out of sight.

“Looks like it’s just us again, pretty girl,” Niall mumbles.

Chloe coos at him, Niall guesses that’s her way of mimicking his statement, as she drops her head onto his shoulder.

>>+<<

Niall ends up inviting Ed over anyway, partially to prove an imaginary point to Zayn and partially because he’s dying for conversation with someone that says more than ‘ah’ and ‘ahguh’ and other variations of sounds starting with ah.

“So this is real, huh?” Ed says, crouching down in front of Chloe where she’s sleeping in her playpen, face pressed into the side breathing through the mesh. Niall tried to move her, but she pulls a face and whines, so to avoid waking her, he’s letting her go, even if he checks her breathing every few moments to make sure she’s still doing all right in the position. “Niall Horan really got a baby.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Niall mumbles back, propping his feet up on the table.

“What’s it like? It’s only been what, a few days? Does it feel different?”

“Not really. I’ve watched her for the weekend, so I’ve had her this long before,” Niall says, shrugging. “It’ll feel different when like, a month goes by and I realize that no one is going to come pick her up.”

“Yeah man, I understand,” Ed says, nodding. Niall knows that he doesn’t actually get it; Ed’s experience with babies starts and ends with the ones that mothers bring into his store when browsing or bringing another kid to their guitar lessons. He has no idea what it’s like losing someone and being told, I’m sorry for your loss but here is another life that you have to take care, and to feel your entire world slowly beginning to flip on it’s axis.

Niall can no longer sleep in, he can’t spend his days sitting on his couch trying to write songs and jamming away on his guitar until his neighbor bangs on the wall and tells him to shut the fuck up. He can’t call Jade or Leigh-Anne late at night when he’s feeling lonely and wants the kind of company that only they can provide, or go to a bar and find a fit bloke. Now he can’t bring anyone home, because technically, since taking Chloe in, he lives with Zayn and Chloe. He has them to think about, which is far too weird for him to actually think about.

“How’s Zayn holding up?” Ed asks, tearing Niall away from his thoughts. “Is he like, stoic about this whole thing?”

“You mean does he still have that giant stick up his ass?”

Ed laughs, shaking his head, because he’s heard the rants before, listening to Niall go on and on about what a pain Zayn is.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Then it’s still there,” Niall mumbles, turning his head to Chloe’s playpen when he hears the sound of her shuffling around. She’s currently on her stomach, rubbing her face on the bottom of the mat as she wakes, he rubs at his eyes for a moment before he stands, moving swiftly to pick her up before she can scream for him. “Hey pretty girl, good morning.”

Chloe looks at him for a moment before she grins, tucking her cheek against his shoulder shyly.

“So that’s her, huh?” Ed says, no longer on the couch but standing next to Niall. “She kind of looks like you, blue eyes and light hair.”

“Mines dyed this color,” Niall retorts, rolling his eyes.

“And who’s to say that hers isn’t dyed?” Ed jokes, grinning as he reaches out to tickle Chloe’s stomach. She doesn’t look amused, looks more concerned about why there is a man in her house that she doesn’t know. Her grip on Niall’s shoulder tightens and he grins, grateful that she loves him best right now.

“You know, it’s weird,” Ed says slowly, smiling one last time at Chloe before he turns to look at Niall. “You and Zayn hate each other, properly can’t stand each other, but now you’re raising a baby together. It’s kind of like you’re married, in a sense.”

Niall snorts, rolling his eyes. “We’re not married, hardly.”

“No, but you’re kind of stuck with him for the rest of her life, usually what happens to people that have kids together, which generally speaking, although not always, are married couples.”

Niall looks at him, because holy shit. It’s like a prison sentence, a life sentence without parole, one where he’s chained at the ankle to Zayn Malik.

>>+<<

It’s after nine and Chloe is still awake, standing at her play table, slamming on the keys of her baby piano and screaming happily, copying Niall’s shouts every time something happens on the game he’s playing.

“Don’t you think that we should put her to bed?” Zayn asks, looking up from his lesson plans at Niall. He’s got a look of concentration on his face, one eye squinted and his tongue poking out of his mouth, controller held sideways as he yells at the screen. “Niall, I’m talking to you.”

“Yeah, I heard you,” Niall replies, eyes never leaving the screen. “I had her all day, so she’s your job now.”

“Real mature,” Zayn mumbles, rolling his eyes. Niall either doesn’t hear him or chooses to ignore him, going back to his video game. Zayn looks at the stack of papers in front of him, he has three more days to map out for the next week, and it’ll probably take him a couple hours, if he’s working quickly, but Chloe needs to go to sleep soon, so he sighs, capping his pen and figuring that it’s time to start the bath and get Chloe to bed.

“All right little girl, I’m going to go start your bath,” Zayn says, reaching to scratch Chloe’s scalp. “Niall can you-“

There’s a knock at the door, forcing a pause out of Zayn because at nine in the evening, there shouldn’t be anyone trying to visit them.

“Niall, are you expecting someone?” Zayn asks, turning to look towards the door, trying his best to see whoever is there.

“No, but it’s probably Ed. Maybe he left something when he was here earlier, go check and see.”

“Oh great,” Zayn mutters, walking towards the door. “One of your friends. From now on tell them that they can’t come past a certain time, there’s a baby in the house, Niall. They could wake her.”

When Zayn pulls the door open though, there’s a man standing behind it wearing a suit, a definite sign that he’s not a friend of Niall’s. Niall has an aversion to a suit and tie, wearing simple shirt under a jacket, not even a blazer to Maggie and Jordan’s wedding.

The man looks at him, grinning, his eyes crinkled shut and tapping his thumb against the clipboard in his hand.

“Um, can I help you?” Zayn asks, closing the door a little, blocking the creep’s view of the house, not wanting him to catch sight of Chloe. His smiling is beginning to worry Zayn, making him worry about what this man could possible want so late at night.

“Yeah, sorry. I’m Liam, Liam Payne. I’m with the Department of Social Services, I’m here for your first inspection.”

“This late?”

“Right, yeah. We plan these things at random so that we can see how you’re bringing up the child in the natural environment, not in whatever environment you think would impress us,” Liam explains, still smiling. “Can I come in?”

“No, sorry,” Zayn says, slamming the door shut. He locks it for good measure, rushing across the room, sliding on his socks a bit on the hardwood. “Niall. Niall, the social worker is here.”

Niall cranes his neck to see around Zayn, attention still focused on the game. “What are you talking about?”

“The social worker, the one doing the inspections, he’s here,” Zayn repeats, moving to grab Chloe off the floor, tossing her toys into the basket next to the chair. “Niall, turn the fucking game off and help me clean some of this up. Not too much, we want it to look natural, but we need it clean.”

Niall nods but doesn’t move, not really listening to a thing that Zayn is saying, so Zayn storms across the room and pulls the plug to the game system out of the wall.

“What the fuck,” Niall curses, voice loud and angry. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Get up and help me clean, quick,” Zayn says, still rushing around the living room, tossing toys around, blankets, clothes, everything that makes the house look awful. “The social worker is outside, hurry the fuck up.”

“What is he doing here now?” Niall asks, rushing towards the kitchen, hopefully to clean up the mess from dinner. It’s exhausting with a baby, making dinner for not only himself but also Niall and Chloe. Zayn used to pride himself on keeping his house clean, but trying to keep an eye on Chloe and scrub spaghetti sauce off plates is a difficult task, especially when she’s banging on the cabinets, trying to use them as an anchor to stand.

“I don’t know, it’s some doofus in a suit,” Zayn mutters, shaking his head. “Take Chloe put her in some pajamas, make it look like he’s interrupted bed time. It’ll get him out of here faster.”

“You’re a fucking genius,” Niall mutters, taking the baby. “Come on pretty girl, let’s get you changed and then we’ll work on getting you cranky, yeah?”

Zayn misses the end of what Niall says to the baby, the boy rushing up the stairs with her. He smoothes down his shirt, running his fingers through his hair before he pulls open the door again, smiling at Liam. “Sorry about that, had to go tell Niall that you were here. Chloe just got out of the bath, didn’t want you to see her when she wasn’t dressed,” Zayn lies, pulling the door open to allow Liam entry.

“No, no that’s fine. I understand,” Liam says, stepping inside the house. He glances around, his eyes taking in everything. He pulls his clipboard away from his chest and jots something down, something about the house, probably. Zayn prays that it’s good.

“Will your partner be joining us?”

“Pardon?” Zayn says, because he’s not sure that he heard Liam right, not sure if he actually implied that he and Niall were a thing, anything more than two people that can just barely tolerate each other raising a child.

He leads Liam into the living room, motioning for him to take a seat.

“Your partner, um, Niall Horan. That’s what my paper says, will he be joining us?”

“Yeah, he’ll be down shortly,” Zayn says slowly, sitting down next to Liam. “Your paper says that we’re together?”

“Yeah, I mean, you’re both listed with your own last names, so I’m not sure if you’re married or what, but. I’m sorry, is that wrong?” Liam asks, frowning and pulling his clipboard away from his chest to scan the papers.

“Would that um, like… Would that affect our chances of keeping Chloe? Is there some kind of rule about that?”

“Oh no. No, you’ll both be perfectly fine to raise Chloe, as long as other aspects of your life are in order. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

“Then you were wrong,” Zayn says, nodding firmly. “Niall and I are not together, at all. Not even a little bit, we’re just here for the baby.”

“Here the baby is,” Niall sings, interrupting what was surely going to be an awkward response from Liam. He has Chloe dressed in an outfit that doesn’t match, green pants with ducks on them and a purple shirt that reads ‘Princess’ in pink letters, but Chloe looks happy, sucking on her pig pacifier and staring at Liam intently.

“Oh good,” Liam says, smiling. “I’ll be quick since I don’t want to keep the baby up, I apologize for coming so late, but the times aren’t set by me, so.”

“No it’s all right, was just trying to get the baby to sleep,” Niall says, shrugging. “Only a little important.”

“Right, um. Of course, that’s very important,” Liam mutters, nodding, eyes scanning over the paper on his clipboard. “Right, so I’ve already seen a bit of the house, and from what I understand this is the house that the parents were living in with her, so it’s fully stocked with everything she needs, correct? Diapers, bed, changing table, toys, and whatever else.”

“Yes, that’s correct,” Zayn says, nodding. “Niall and I, while we both have our own places, neither of them are large enough for Chloe and the other, and neither one of us have rooms set up for her, so we decided to stay here.”

“Right, right. And what is that you do, Mr. Malik?”

“I’m a teacher. Currently I’m working in the fourth grade, but I’d like to move up, teach English, the subject not the language, to older students,” Zayn explains, trying to smile when Liam nods, not looking impressed or unimpressed as he jots something down. Zayn doesn’t know what to make of it. “It’s a good job, especially when raising a child, if you think about it. I get off when school ends, so I’ll be here when she gets home. I have the weekends off, holidays, summer, all the time that she’ll have off when she reaches that age.”

Liam nods, smiles at him. “What about you Mr. Horan?”

“Well, unlike Zayn there, I work weekends,” Niall says, setting a struggling Chloe down on the ground, the baby crawling off towards a pile of books on the floor, a mess that Zayn neglected to clean up.

“Yeah? Doing what?”

“Music lessons, specifically guitar lessons. I have private instructions on Saturday, but group classes on Friday and Sunday. I’m open to adding more during the week, but so far the weekend is what the clients want, so,” Niall says, shrugging. His hands are shaking a bit as he speaks, pulling at the sleeve of his shirt so it comes down to cover his hands. Zayn follows the gesture, because he’s never seen Niall nervous before, never seen him break from his carefree demeanor.

“I see,” Liam says, writing something down again. “So basically, Zayn works weekdays and you work weekends, meaning that someone is always here with Chloe?”

“Yeah,” Niall nods, licking his lips. “Obviously I have you know, bigger plans and stuff, but like, this is where I’m at now. It’s just temporary.”

“Financially, as long as you both can support Chloe and provide for her, as long as the job is legal, then I don’t really care,” Liam says, smiling, soft and reassuring. Niall seems to deflate at that, breathing out a sigh of relief.

“Well, the last thing on my list to have a peek around the house,” Liam explains, standing. “So, if you could give me a quick tour, then I’ll be on my way, giving you time to put that little girl to bed.”

Zayn grins, happy to know that their first meeting has gone well enough. He knows the house is perfect, albeit a little messy, but perfect since Maggie and Jordan did everything they needed to, to prepare for Chloe.

>>+<<

“Is that my big girl?” Harry asks, stepping inside the house, already making faces at Chloe.

It’s the weekend, neither of them having to work, and Harry had insisted – borderline begged – that he come by to see Chloe. He visited her as much as he could when Maggie was alive, being named honorary godfather in case Zayn decided to step down at any point. He hasn’t, much to Harry’s dismay.

“Yeah, we just finished lunch,” Zayn says, passing Chloe over to Harry, the baby practically falling out of his grip as she reaches for Harry.

“That’s a girl, always loving on your Harry, right?” Harry coos, trying not to wince when she grabs one of his curls and yanks, shouting as she pulls on it, bouncing in Harry’s arms.

Zayn follows them through the house and into the living room where Harry sits down on the floor, setting Chloe in front of him and grabbing her toys in reach to begin playing.

Harry has always been great with kids, always smiling at babies on the street and congratulating mothers-to-be when he sees them. He’s a natural born father without a child, and as Zayn watches Chloe interact with him, he’s struck with the reminder that he might not be the best person for the job.

“How are you and Niall holding up?” Harry asks, his voice high like he’s talking to Chloe.

“Pretty well, I guess…given the circumstances,” Zayn answers, gasping and smiling when Chloe looks at him, a smile growing on her face.

“If Chloe is any reflection of that, then I’d say you’re doing a pretty good job,” Harry soothes, winking at Zayn. “She’s happy, so there’s not much more you could want, is there?”

Zayn shakes his head. “She’s wonderful.”

“But?” Harry says, a knowing look on his face.

“But sometimes I wonder if Maggie and Jordan knew what they were doing, if they even thought about it or if they just picked the two people that visited them in the hospital first,” Zayn says, remembering sitting in the hospital waiting room with Niall, the latter pacing the floor carrying a stuffed bunny that he bought in the gift shop, it had been the only distraction for Zayn as he chewed his lip raw waiting.

“I think that everything will work out how it’s supposed to, whatever that way may be.”

Zayn shrugs, unsure if it was the right thing to do, expressing his feelings to Harry. It has nothing to do with Chloe, nothing to do with the beautiful little girl left to do, and everything to do with the fact that he feels out of control, out of his skin that he wasn’t able to make this decision on his own. It was made for him, a long time before it had actually happened. It would have been nice to have been asked if he wanted Chloe if anything happened to Maggie and Jordan, or at least given a heads up. Most people, not all, are given a choice about if they want to enter parenthood, or they have almost ten months to get used to the idea.

And yeah, if you think about it, think about how long Chloe has been out of the womb, Zayn has had nine months with her, but none of them were spent preparing himself for the day that he assumed responsibility of her forever, or eighteen years if he wants to go the legal route.

It’s just all a bit much sometimes, this heavy weight on his shoulder that had been dropped on him, not placed, but suddenly dropped. It’s weighing him down and no matter how he feels about having Chloe, it makes him feel worse knowing that he questions if he’s the best person to raise her.

“Well, I’ll take her,” Harry says easily enough, making funny faces at Chloe still, sticking his tongue out at her.

Zayn laughs despite himself. “Haz.”

Harry shrugs. “I’d be happy to have her.”

>>+<<

“So how is everything at home?” Ed asks, dropping down in the chair next to Niall, beginning to unwrap his sandwich.

They’re on their lunch break and it’s Niall’s first shift since he and Zayn got custody of Chloe, it feels like he’s on vacation, like someone invited him to the Bahamas instead of to Ed’s guitar store to teach eleven year olds how to play the instrument. There have been times, however, where he finds himself panicking, worrying that he’s lost sight of Chloe only to remember that she’s not there, she’s at home with Zayn, spending the day with someone other than Niall.

“It’s going good, I think.”

“You think?” Ed asks, looking at him.

“Yeah man, I mean. I love Chloe, don’t get me wrong, but it’s like. Zayn is always there, always,” Niall mumbles, shaking his head before he takes a large bite of his lunch.

“I hate to be the one that comes with bad news but, like, I think that’s what happens when you raise a baby with someone. You’re kind of stuck with them, if they choose to stay. I don’t know, there are a lot of situations where parents aren’t around, but you get what I’m saying, right?”

“Unfortunately I do, yes,” Niall replies, rolling his eyes. “It’s not that I mind the whole Chloe thing, you know, or even that I have to do it with Zayn. It’s just. God, he’s always there.”

“You’ve said that already,” Ed says, amused.

“I know. I know, but if I want to take a shower, forget that idea, Zayn’s in the bathroom. You want chicken for dinner? Forget that, Zayn’s making some beef dish with spices and vegetables, some rice and shit,” Niall complains, waving his arms around wildly, getting animated in his agitation. “You want to sit down and watch the game, volume high so you can shout at the screen? Sorry can’t, Zayn’s got to write lesson plans and needs to focus. He’s always there. He’s constantly in my bedroom.”

“You have a bedroom there?”

“No, I don’t. That’s another thing, I’ve got the couch, the fucking couch to sleep on at night. He’s got a giant bed with a fluffy blanket and pillows. My face sleeps where people put their asses.”

Ed laughs, a roaring sound that makes him grab his stomach, choking on a bit of his lunch.

“It’s not funny,” Niall whines, shoving Ed. “It’s not just those trivial things either, there’s so much that I want to do with my life, but I can’t do it anymore. I’m tied down to someone that I didn’t even choose to be tied down with. Like, you know those people that call their wives ‘the old ball and chain’? That’s literally Zayn. He’s my ball and chain.”

“But like, it’s all for the baby, right? Shouldn’t she make it worth it that you have to sleep with your face on Zayn’s ass?” Ed jokes, trying to lighten the mood probably, and Niall appreciates that but Ed doesn’t get it.

Ed’s never been shoved into a situation like this before, not many people are.

Niall’s going to do it, though. He’s not going to give up on the little girl that is now technically his. It’s just difficult and sometimes, like today with his lunch break, Niall needs to complain, get out some of his pent up feelings, the things that he’s been swallowing down so he doesn’t say anything rude to Zayn.

>>+<<

Niall’s tired after work, the kind of tired that settles deep inside of his bones, makes him feel like he’s dragging a heavy weight, holding him down and making even the little things feel nearly impossible. He had stayed after work, not really needing to – a job like his doesn’t require that their employees stay after hours, usually Ed does that – but tonight Niall did, volunteering his services so he could get a few more hours to himself.

When he pulls the front door open, the house is quiet, a sign that Chloe is sleeping. He breathes a sigh of relief and assumes that Zayn’s sleeping as well, the house is dimly lit, and Niall begins shutting the lights on off on his way to the living room, and he’s getting ready to shut off the final light, the one emitting the soft glow of the room where he sleeps when he finds Zayn. He’s sitting on the couch, a bottle of wine in his hand.

“Zayn?” Niall calls cautiously, stepping into the room slowly.

Zayn startles and turns to look at Niall, eyes wide. “Niall,” he hiccups, grinning. “I was waiting for you.” Zayn stumbles as he stands, wine sloshing in the bottle as he trips. “I got us some wine.”

“Looks like it’s nearly finished,” Niall says, taking the bottle from Zayn.

Zayn sighs. “Yeah, but I was a little thirsty.” He grins and stumbles on nothing, so Niall helps guide him back to the couch.

“Where’s Chloe?”

“Sleeping, she was so cranky. I put her to bed early.”

“And then you started drinking?”

“Of course,” Zayn says, reaching for the bottle in Niall’s hand, pouting when Niall pulls it away. “Oh yeah, you’re right. That’s yours. I drank a bit of your half but you still have about this much.” Zayn uses two of his fingers to measure the liquid, pulling his hand away to show Niall.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you drunk before, Malik.”

“Haven’t been drunk in a long time. Long, long, long, long time,” Zayn slurs, nodding. “Not since I met you.”

“Hmm, not since you met me?” Niall asks, setting the bottle down on the table on the far end away from Zayn. “Am I that bad?” He doesn’t know why the thought really bothers him, why the possibility of Zayn thinking he’s so awful upsets him. It sends a little jolt in his gut, a knot that aches.

“God, you’re the worst,” Zayn groans, dropping his face in his hands. “You’re always smiling and happy and you don’t care at all that we’re pretty much parents now. You’re Niall and you’re never stressed. Never stressed Niall.” Zayn digs his finger in Niall’s cheek and sighs.

Niall licks his lips and nods, not feeling inclined to explain to a drunk Zayn that there are plenty of things that bother him about what’s happened. Everyone has their own way of dealing with things; Zayn’s is this, as it turns out. Niall, he’s just going to get through it. He’s going to complain to Ed from time to time, get it out of his system and then he’s going to power through it. That’s how he works.

There’s a knock on the door and Niall frowns, Zayn gasps.

“Stay here,” Niall warns, giving Zayn a look as he stands. Zayn nods and sits on his hands.

“I’ll hide the wine,” he says and when Niall turns he can see Zayn trying to shove the bottle in his shirt.

Behind the door is the last fucking person that Niall wants to see. He outwardly groans at the sight of the social workers smiling face, wants to hit his head against the wall for a moment so he can find an excuse not to talk to Liam.

“Hi,” Liam says, eyes still crinkled dangerously, Niall wonders if he can see. “I’m so sorry about showing up so late, I know that I promised I wouldn’t, but another visit took me ages and I have to get this one done today, if that’s all right.”

“No, not really,” Niall admits because Zayn’s drunk, of course this loser with a clipboard would intrude on the one fucking night where Zayn tries to remove the stick from his ass. Of-fucking-course. “God, it really doesn’t matter, does it? Just give me a minute.” He shuts the door in Liam’s face and rushes towards the living room.

Zayn’s not in there, he’s in the kitchen, bottle of wine still up his shirt.

“Who is it?”

“It’s the social worker, the tight ass. He wants to talk to us.”

“I can’t talk to him,” Zayn says, shaking his head, sounding like he’s going to cry. “He’s going to take Chloe away. We’re going to lose Chloe. I fucked up. I don’t know what to do.”

“God, just shut up,” Niall groans, running his fingers through his hair, resisting the urge to rip it out. No wonder fathers bald, they must rip it out in patches when the stress becomes too much for them. He takes a deep breath and pulls the bottle out from under Zayn’s shirt, puts it in the fridge for now. Out of sight, out of mind, he figures. “Go upstairs, take a shower and sober the fuck up. Do you understand me?”

Zayn bites his lip and nods.

“Go,” Niall orders, pushing Zayn gently out of the room. “Upstairs,” Niall says when he sees Zayn moving around randomly, spinning in circles as he tries to figure out where he’s going.

He waits until he hears the shower start, the pipes rattling a bit before he heads back to the door, trying to look just as chipper as Liam does, even though he’d kill to not be here right now.

He really should have taken longer at work.

>>+<<

Zayn wakes up the following morning with a headache from hell, his entire body aching as someone knocks on his door, horrible loud raps at. He rolls over to check the time, groaning when he sees that it’s eight in the morning.

“God, go away and let me sleep, please,” he groans, dropping back onto the bed, ready to fall back asleep.

“I’d love to,” calls Niall’s voice through the door before Zayn hears it open, “but you’ve got a little girl here that is ready for her day with you, fed, changed, and clothed, but I need to get to work.”

“Oh god,” Zayn groans again, feeling like an even bigger ass. He can remember flashbacks of Niall last night, talking to him and helping guide him through the conversation with Liam, hoping to hide the fact that Zayn’s a moron that got drunk because he can’t believe the direction that his life has taken. “I’m so sorry.”

Niall shrugs. “It’s fine, doesn’t really matter. We all get drunk every now and then. Although I’d like to say next time don’t do it when the social worker is coming, but he seems to not really give a damn, just shows up when he feels like it.”

“No, no. I’m sorry for last night, obviously, not just this morning,” Zayn confesses, biting his lip. “I shouldn’t have done that, it was so inappropriate, and I know that I said some…not so nice things to you, and I apologize.”

Niall stills for the briefest of seconds before he shrugs. “It’s fine, Zayn. Don’t worry about it, yeah? Just watch the pretty girl, yeah?” Niall’s voice goes higher up at the end when he addresses Chloe, kissing her on the cheek before he hands her to Zayn. “I’ve really got to go, I’ll be back earlier tonight, probably about six, so try to hold off on the wine until then.” He winks and Zayn scoffs at his retreating figure.

“He thinks he’s so clever,” Zayn says to Chloe, shaking his head.

Chloe shouts at that, waving her arms around before she pulls herself into a sit, ready to crawl across the expanse of Zayn’s bed, not caring that there’s a drop just a few inches ahead of her.

>>+<<

Chloe nearly jumps out of Zayn’s arms at the sight of the bath, squirming around wildly at the sound of the water filling her little purple basin.

“Oh, look at that,” Zayn gasps, voice high. “Someone is ready for their bath, huh? You ready to be clean?”

Chloe whines, pulling away from Zayn, trying her hardest to fall out of his arms and into the tub. He’s not moving fast enough for her, not moving quick enough to kneel down and gently place her even in the tub. Even when she does make contact with the water, her little toes dipping in it, does she begin kicking, almost panting in excitement to be completely submerged.

“Look at you,” Zayn laughs, letting go of her completely when he knows that she’s properly sitting. “You weren’t excited, were you?”

Chloe screams, eyes squinting as she does it, slapping against the water.

“Look at our water baby,” Zayn says, addressing Niall while smiling at Chloe. “She’s so happy.”

“Babies usually love water,” Niall mutters and it’s not the reaction that Zayn was expecting, not as excited as he thought it would be. He glances over towards Niall and frowns when he sees that he’s sitting on the toilet using his laptop, reading something intently.

“What are you doing?” Zayn asks, glancing towards Niall briefly, smiling when Chloe holds his washcloth up at him, dropping it back into the water.

“Applying for a new job,” Niall answers, chewing on his bottom lip. He’s constantly chewing on something, Zayn notes. It’s usually his fingernails, constantly gnawing away at them, almost until they bleed, but when he doesn’t have access to them, it’s his lip.

“A new job? Where at?”

“Around,” Niall replies, shrugging. “Been wanting to find something new for a while, figure now’s the best time to look with Chloe and all.”

Chloe coos at that, mumbling sounds like she wants in on the conversation.

“Oh yeah? You wishing Niall luck on his job search?” Zayn asks, smiling at her as he takes the cloth back, ready to wash her skin so he can get out. She loves the water, loves sitting in it and splashing around, but his knees are beginning to hurt from sitting on the tiled floor.

“My pretty girl wishing me luck?” Niall asks, winking at Chloe from across the room.

Chloe squeals and bounces up and down, splashing water around in her tub.

Zayn laughs, squirting baby soap onto the rag and rubbing it together. Chloe tries to stand in her tub, back facing Zayn and he figures that now is the perfect time to soap up her back and the back of her legs without a fight, but something stops him, the sight of redness on her back, starting at the middle of her spine and going down to the top of her bottom.

“Niall, what is this?” Zayn asks, trying to hold onto Chloe to get her to stop moving. She keeps trying to shift out of his grasp, moving around wildly. “That’s a rash.”

“No, it’s probably just because the water is warm,” Niall replies, shutting the laptop and crawling closer to the tub. “There’s no way that’s a rash. How would she even get one?”

“I don’t know, you tell me,” Zayn says, rubbing his fingers against the rash. It’s a little bumpy, nothing too drastic but it’s a rash and she’s a baby. This could mean anything. “I think it’s a rash.”

“It kind of looks like one,” Niall admits, his thumb gently brushing against the skin.

“It’s a rash? You think it’s a rash, too? Is that, what is that, Niall?” Zayn questions, feeling panicked, because what if there is something wrong with Chloe? What if it’s an allergic reaction to something that gets worse? What if she got hurt and neither of them was there to witness it? What if she’s coming down with something? She’s not old enough to be sick, not hold enough to handle being sick.

“Calm down, it’s just a rash,” Niall says, shrugging and leave it to him to be casual about this, to not even care that Chloe could have some kind of illness that they can’t help her with.

“Right, well while you’re applying for your jobs and not caring that Chloe has a rash, I’ll be taking her to a doctor,” Zayn says, smiling smugly at Niall. “Watch her while I call to make an appointment.”

“It’s eight at night,” Niall calls after him and while he does have a point, Zayn’s not going to stop and turn around now. He’s going to go in the other room, wait it out and then say that he left a message, which isn’t too bad of a lie, not really.

>>+<<

Zayn watches the doctor intently, staring at him harshly as he examines Chloe’s skin, talking to her as he examines her, trying to get her not to cry. He’s not her normal doctor, Zayn couldn’t find the paperwork or any appointment cards around the house, but he found a doctor online, Louis Tomlinson and he seems nice enough. His office is clean, kid friendly. The chairs are all brightly colored with images of animals on them; the artwork is catered to children, teaching them about illnesses.

There is pamphlets spread out on a table next to the chair and Zayn takes two copies of each, one for him and one for Niall, so they can read up on them. It’s obvious that neither of them know anything about allergies, diseases, illnesses, or conditions of any kind. None of them. Not a single one.

“Do you have some kind of fetish for medical information?” The doctor asks, nodding at the stack of papers that Zayn’s trying to shove into his pocket.

“Oh, no,” Zayn says, smiling awkwardly. “I’m new to this whole thing, I have no idea what I’m doing with her, and so I thought that this stuff would help. I mean, the Internet is a great resource, but these are coming from a doctors office, so that must mean they’re pretty great too, right?”

“Well, I’d hope so since they’d be coming from my office.”

Zayn laughs. “Yeah, that’d be horrible if they told you something wrong. It’s just; she’s nine months old, right? And a lot of stuff is going to start happening, if it hasn’t already, and there is so much more ahead of us. So like, do you have any papers with information on that for me? I’d really appreciate it.”

The doctor nods, grinning at Chloe before he hands her back to Zayn. “You can put her dress back on now, I’m all finished.”

“Oh thank god,” Zayn groans, hugging Chloe close before he sets her back down on the table, holding onto one of her arms and reaching for her green dress that Niall put her in. She shouts at him, clapping her hands as she bounces. “That’s a happy girl,” he says to Chloe and then he turns to the doctor and says, “Do you know what’s wrong with her? Is it contagious? Is it dangerous? Is she going to be all right?”

“Yeah, yeah. She’s fine,” Louis assures, smiling crookedly at Zayn. “It’s just a case of dry skin, nothing to worry about. I went ahead and checked her out for as much as I can, but we’re going to need her old doctor’s files to try and figure out if she’s up to date on her shots. Infants need them regularly, do you know any of this?”

Zayn shakes his head, picking up Chloe and balancing her on one hip. “I’ve just gotten custody of her. I’m not. She’s not… I don’t know that stuff. I can find it out for you.”

“I’ll only need that information if I’m going to be her primary doctor, if you choose to go back and see her other one then don’t even worry about, Mr. Malik.”

“Zayn. My name is Zayn.”

“Right, Zayn,” he says, nodding. “She’s perfectly healthy, appears to be happy and that’s all you can really ask for.”

“Of course it is, yeah. I just, it’s so hard trying to learn all of this so quickly. I feel like I need a crash course.”

“Most parents, even though they like to claim otherwise, don’t know everything. They learn as they go along, but if you’re interested in a crash course, maybe I can help you,” Louis offers and Zayn grins.

“That’d be amazing, please. Tell me everything,” Zayn says, trying not to groan when Chloe grabs a lock of hair and tugs, squealing happily in his arms.

“How about dinner tonight?”

>>+<<

“All right, have fun,” Zayn says, smiling at Niall.

“Where are you going?” Niall asks, frowning.

“I told you, I’m going out with Louis.”

Niall stops. “Wait. You were being serious?” He asks, rushing after Zayn to the door. “You just met him, why are you going out with him?”

“For several reasons, actually. He’s a doctor, which is an admirable profession. He’s nice and funny, and most importantly, because I want to, so have fun watching Chloe, give her a big kiss for me when she goes to bed tonight,” Zayn says, grinning once more before he’s gone, closing the door in Niall’s face before he can say anything else.

He hears little noises on the hardwood and turns to see Chloe crawling across the floor, rushing towards him.

“Come here, pretty girl,” Niall calls, kneeling down and holding his arms open wide. “Can you come here? Come see Niall?”

Chloe screams and stops, pushing herself into a sit and smiling at Niall before she turns around and crawls back where she came from. Niall chases after her, running behind her slowly until he grabs her under her arms and swings her up in the air.

“Aha, gotcha,” Niall says, tickling her gently. “What do you think about Zayn going out with that doctor? Was he nice?” Chloe squeals, her face scrunching up. “Yeah, I didn’t think he was. Sounds like a knob. Who asks someone out on a date when he’s checking out their baby? Not a good doctor, I’ll tell you that much.”

Chloe bounces, saying something that sounds like ‘bubububu’ over and over again.

“I was going to say that he’s a predator, but I didn’t want to make that assumption, but since you did, I think that I can agree and let you know that I’m with you on this one.”

Chloe shouts in his arms.

“What do you say that we go get on the computer and look up this Dr. Louis Tomlinson, if he even is a doctor. I bet he was a crazed parent just posing as one, don’t you agree?” Chloe shouts again, slapping his chest. “I thought you would.”

Louis Tomlinson, as he finds out, really is a doctor. A stupid looking doctor with swoopy hair and the dumbest looking face that Niall’s ever seen, all pointy and cheekbones that are just, they’re not great cheekbones. They’re not defined like Zayn’s, they’re harsh and god, he just looks so stupid. He’s got this smug grin on his face while he wears a white doctor’s coat, trying to brag to the entire Internet that he completed medical school, like he’s some kind of big deal.

Anyone could complete medical school if they really wanted to, Niall probably could have. He could be out there diagnosing dry skin just like Louis could, if he really put his mind to it, but that’s not what he wants. He doesn’t want to be a loser like Louis Tomlinson, even if he is only teaching kids guitar on the weekend.

“This guys a joke,” Niall confirms to Chloe. “I can’t believe that Zayn made you go see him. Did you like going to see him?” Chloe doesn’t answer, just looks at him as she chews on the remote, a trail of drool spilling out of her mouth. “Yeah, I didn’t think you liked him.”

Niall closes the laptop and sighs, setting Chloe down on the floor. It feels weird knowing what Zayn’s date looks like, putting a face to it all when he knows what it means that Zayn has a date. Zayn’s not the type to date for the sake of it, maybe when he tried it with Niall, but even then Niall thinks that he was so upset about what happened because he expected something from it, maybe not marriage, but something. And Niall knows, just knows that he’s going to expect something out of this date with the doctor, or at least he’ll hope for it.

“Chloe, I won’t do it unless you tell me to, but…”

>>+<<

“This place is really great,” Zayn comments, smiling at Louis. “It’s. Well, I’ve not been out for a while, but no one has mashed green beans in their hair, so maybe that’s why it’s nice.”

Louis laughs, a warm smile spreading on his face. It’s a lovely smile, sincere and open, it makes Zayn feel warm and comfortable, like he can open up to him without worry. It’s a nice feeling, even if it’s a bit different, because it also makes him worry about what he has to say. The contradicting feelings conflicting him internally, because Louis is doctor and that’s something to impress, despite what his smile makes Zayn feel.

“I’ll be honest with you,” Louis says, scratching at the back of his neck, “my sister helped me pick out the place, I’m usually a bit of a mess when it comes to stuff like this.”

“Ah, so I should be telling your sister was a great place this is,” Zayn nods, grinning when Louis blushes. “I’m only teasing. I’m not that great with dates either… I mean if this is a date? Is this a date?”

“I don’t usually invite people to dinner if it’s not,” Louis clarifies, watching Zayn closely until the waiter comes, dropping off their food. Louis smiles at him and thanks him, waits until he’s gone before he turns back to Zayn. “What would you say was your worst date?”

“Oh that’s easy,” Zayn replies, snorting. “It was a couple years ago, two friends set us up.”

“Oh god, a blind date horror story, my favorite.”

“Yeah, and that’s exactly what it is, a horror story,” Zayn sighs, shaking his head. “He seemed a little out there over text, but sometimes people have difficulty with the written word, so I wasn’t going to think much of it, but then he was two hours late.”

Louis laughs, having to cup a hand over his mouth so none of his pasta spills out. “What a catch,” he mumbles, grinning grandly at Zayn.

“Yeah, and he didn’t answer any of my phone calls. I tried calling him a couple times, but no answer.”

“But he showed up?”

“He did, yes,” Zayn says, nodding. “He showed up and he was cute enough, more than cute. He…he reminded of a baby lion, actually. I don’t know, it’s a weird comparison, but he always has. He’s a little feisty but playful.”

“Quite the comparison for a guy that almost stood you up.”

“Yeah, well, wait until I get to that part,” Zayn clarifies. “Anyway, we get into his car and we’re just down the road from my house, and his phone beeps. It turns out to be this girl that he’d been hooking up with.” Louis’ mouth drops open. “Yeah, and he had me text her back that he’d come see her as soon as he was done with our date.”

“Wow, what a piece of work,” Louis laughs, shaking his head. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard a blind date gone that wrong before.”

Zayn nods, shaking his head, because Niall really is a piece of work. It’s been years since that happened, but it’s still one of the most exciting things that has ever happened to Zayn, that brief encounter.

Zayn sighs. “I’m sure you’ll meet him.”

“I’ll meet him?” Louis asks with a raised eyebrow, taking a large bite of his food. “How?”

“He’s who I’m raising Chloe with,” Zayn admits, his phone chiming from his pocket. “Oh god, I’m so sorry.” He pulls the phone out of his pocket and sees Niall’s name flashing on the screen. “Speak of the devil. Hello?”

“Zayn? You’ve got to get home, quick.”

“Why? What’s going on?”

“It’s Chloe, I don’t know… You just, you should really come home.”

“Okay, I’m on my way,” Zayn says, tossing the nap off his lap as he hands up the phone. “I’ve got to go, fuck. That was Niall, he thinks something is wrong with Chloe so I’ve really got to go. I’m so sorry.”

“Do you need me to-“

Zayn misses the rest of what Louis says in his haste to leave the restaurant, grateful that he met Louis here and didn’t rely on him for a ride. He’s out of his skin with worry, because what if Louis was wrong? What if that rash on her back wasn’t dry skin but something worse?

Fuck, he’s going to be sick.

He makes it home in record time, nearly hitting the neighbor’s mailbox as he rushes into the driveway, tripping over his feet as he stumbles through the door.

“Niall?” He calls, slamming the door closed. “Niall?”

“In here,” Niall calls and Zayn rushes upstairs towards the sound of Niall’s voice, tripping over the top stair and bouncing off the wall.

Chloe and Niall are in her bedroom, sitting on the floor, Chloe’s laughing as Niall bounces her stuffed rabbit off the hardwood. Zayn stares at them, his mouth open, as he pants from the worry and rushing, because he had been trying to get home as soon as he could because there was supposed to be something wrong with Chloe, but she’s fine. She’s perfectly happy, giggling madly and clapping her hands at Niall.

“What the fuck, Niall,” Zayn says, because Niall lied to him. For whatever fucking reason Niall lied, making him rush out of a perfectly good dinner with a perfectly nice man.

“What?” Niall says, looking at Zayn like he’s grown two heads, not understanding why Zayn is angry. “What’s the matter?”

“You said something was wrong with Chloe,” Zayn shouts, pointing towards the baby.

“No I didn’t.”

“Yes you did.”

“No, I said it’s Chloe and you should get home.”

“No, you said it’s Chloe and there is something wrong with her.”

No, I didn't,” Niall says, shaking his head. “Do you not listen when I talk? I said that I didn’t know and you should come home. She was really upset earlier, but she’s fine now. I didn’t think to call you back, I was just grateful that she was happy.”

Zayn takes a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You called me because you don’t know how to handle a crying child?” Niall scoffs and Zayn raises a hand, cutting him off. “Put her to bed and then meet me downstairs, we need to talk about this.”

He takes one more deep breath before he steps forward, leaning down to give Chloe a kiss goodnight before he leaves the room.

>>+<<

Niall takes his time putting Chloe to bed, takes his time making her bottle and feeding it to her. He sits in the rocking chair with her longer than he actually needs to, and he stands by her crib far longer than necessary just watching her sleep. She’s a beautiful baby, is the thing, and Niall doesn’t have the slightest clue what he’s doing with her.

He leans over the edge of the crib and kisses her once more before he turns to leave, ready for the wrath of Zayn.

Zayn’s waiting for him in the living room, pacing and if this were a cartoon, steam would be coming out of his ears with flames dancing around him. It’s…different. Niall’s used to see him aggravated, annoyed, bothered but never this, never this raw burning anger that’s wrapping around him like smoke after a fire’s died. It’s almost primal, animalistic in the way that it looks like it’s taken over Zayn.

“You lied,” Zayn says, almost snarling.

“Zayn, I really didn’t. You think I did. I never said what happened on the phone,” Niall repeats and this is exactly why. He asked Chloe what she thought that he should say, but all of the options weren’t right, they were… It wasn’t what Niall wanted, he just wanted Zayn home for some reason. He can’t really explain it, but it felt wrong knowing that Zayn was out on a date. He couldn’t fathom the thought of it, for reasons unknown.

“It doesn’t matter if those are the words that come out of your mouth,” Zayn says, finally turning to face Niall. “It’s implied when you say it’s Chloe and then tell me to come home. It doesn’t matter if that’s not what you mean, it’s where my mind went, and not because I’m being irrational, but because that’s what a normal fucking person thinks.”

“All right then I’m sorry,” Niall says, trying to keep his voice down. “Is that what you want me to say?”

“Yeah, because you’re a grown up, Niall. You need to learn to take responsibility for yourself and your actions.”

“Oh I’m not responsible?” Niall asks, nodding and sucking at his lip when Zayn gives him that look. The ‘no fucking shit’ look that makes Niall’s skin crawl. “Right, well let’s examine the situation, shall we? Who was here being responsible taking care of Chloe while someone else was out gallivanting around town breaking what I can only assume is some kind of fucking doctor law about not hooking up with their patients.”

Zayn pauses, staring at Niall with his eyes reduced to slits. “You don’t know a thing about what was happening tonight.”

“I saw his picture, he’s a fucking creep. I know exactly what was happening tonight,” Niall retorts, glaring right back at Zayn.

“Yeah? Did his picture tell you that the majority of conversation tonight was about you? Did it tell you that he doesn’t know how to pick a fucking restaurant so his sister did it and the most fun that I had was talking about you?” Zayn shouts, breathing heavy after his confession, staring at Niall wildly, this fierce determined look in his eyes.

Niall licks his lips and within an instant he’s moving swiftly across the room and shoving Zayn into the wall, their mouths finding each other like they’ve been doing this their entire lives.

Zayn tastes like expensive wine and lust, it sends a jolt straight to Niall’s cock. He forces his tongue in Zayn’s mouth and Zayn tugs on his hair, pulling on it until Niall groans, biting down on Zayn’s lip harshly.

“You’re such a fucking asshole,” Zayn gasps, pulling away briefly and biting at the skin of Niall’s neck.

“Do you ever just shut the fuck up?” Niall asks, pushing Zayn’s legs apart with his knee and getting his own leg between them, digging his thigh right into Zayn’s cock, feeling it twitch and harden slowly. “Bet if I put my dick in your mouth that’ll shut you up.”

Zayn groans, bucking up against Niall’s thigh. “We’re not fucking in here.”

“This is my bedroom, love. I could fuck anyone I please right there on that couch,” Niall sneers, licking a broad stripe up Zayn’s neck. “You could take me to your bed, if you wanted.”

“God, fucking come on,” Zayn groans, shoving Niall off of him and grabbing him by the hand and dragging him towards the guest room upstairs where he’s been sleeping since they moved into the house together.

Niall’s pressed up against his back, he’s not trying to be difficult, but he knows that it’s pissing Zayn off and anger is what got him here in the first place, so who is he to make Zayn happy now?

Zayn shoves him towards the bed, already grabbing at Niall’s jeans and unbuttoning them, yanking them down along with his briefs. Zayn stares at him, taking it all in and licking his lips, Niall’s dick is impossibly hard from nothing, just a dirty kiss in the living room. He needs Zayn’s mouth around him.

“Are you gonna fucking stare at it all day or do you need a book that tells you how to do this?” Niall asks, scoffing.

“You’re the worst person that I’ve ever met in my entire life,” Zayn groans, sinking to his knees.

“Yeah, you sure about—oh fuck,” Niall groans, tilting his head back as Zayn licks at his tip before he takes him in. It’s absurdly annoying how good he is that this, just like how he is with everything else. Niall’s brain is fuzzy and he can’t think.

“God, is this what you’ve been hiding with that mouth for so long,” Niall says, cursing himself for not doing this sooner. Zayn hates him more than anything, more than anyone but this is. God, they should have been doing this the whole time.

Zayn hums around his dick, shooting vibrations up Niall’s spine and he can’t. He can’t come like this. He needs more, wants more.

“All right, stop. Stop,” Niall begs, watching as a smug grin spreads across Zayn’s face from the ground.

He wipes at his mouth, still smiling and it’s so annoying, but Niall is so turned on that he can’t find it in him to care, he really can’t. “Are you going to fuck me or do I have to do all the work?” Zayn asks, already pulling off his shirt before he stands, unzipping his dress pants.

“We need condoms, lube,” Niall mumbles, groaning, because fuck.

“In my bag, side pocket. The black duffle in the corner.”

Niall races towards the back, tripping on a pair of Zayn’s boots. “You packed condoms and lube? What the fuck were you thinking?”

“What do you think I was thinking? I was hoping that sometime in the future I’d be getting laid.”

Niall grins, smug. “You were planning this. You wanted me to fuck you from the start.”

Zayn shakes his head; ripping the blanket off the bed and crawling onto it, spreading his legs open wide and tugging at his dick languidly, staring at Niall. Niall gulps.

“Are you going to stand there and watch? Or?”

“Fuck you,” Niall replies, ripping open the condom wrapper and pulling off his shirt at the same time, tossing it across the room. He rolls the condom on with gentle ease before he remembers that he needs to prep Zayn, get him ready.

“When was the last time you were fucked?” Niall asks, slicking up his fingers and before Zayn can answer, Niall’s pressing a finger inside of him, watching as Zayn’s head falls back, groaning. “I’ll add this to my list of ways to make you stop talking.”

Niall makes sure to work him open thoroughly, taking his time as he transitions from one finger to two to three, until Zayn is begging him, these quiet, breathy gasps of words to _pleasepleaseplease._

Zayn is…he’s beautiful on a normal basis, constantly, but like this? He’s something else, he’s stunning, a step beyond anything that Niall’s ever seen before and he needs a moment to catch his breath before he’s pushing inside of him.

It’s tight, so wonderfully tight and Niall presses in slowly, in short thrusts.

“You good?” Niall asks when he’s in all the way, he needs a minute to get his head right, needs a minute to get used to the velvety heat wrapped around his cock.

“Not if you’re going to just sit there,” Zayn replies, shifting his hips _just so_ so that Niall is in deep, forcing Niall’s entire body to shiver, a guttural groan to escape his lips.

It’s all the yes that Niall needs to continue on, fucking into Zayn faster than before, gripping into the meat of Zayn’s thighs, pulling him up a little higher, changing the angle. Sliding his hands up to Zayn’s hips, he feels Zayn begin to wiggle back on his dick, squirming, his movements opposing Niall’s and creating this…this rhythm that leaves Niall panting.

Zayn’s breathing out these gasps, quick little fucks pouring out of him and it’s amazing. Zayn feels amazing. It’s making Niall feel out of his mind, watching as Zayn’s back arches off the bed, listening to him moan for it, giving Niall silent directions of _moremoremore, fasterfasterfaster,_ and _deeperdeeperdeeper._

Niall leans down, because he has to taste Zayn, some part of him, any part of him. He opts for his tongue, sucking on it, breathing in Zayn’s gasps and groans. He snakes a hand down between them, wrapping it around Zayn’s cock and his shoulder aches a little from the position, but he’s working him over quickly.

Zayn’s cock jerks in his hand as he comes, coating Niall’s fist and his stomach, his mouth dropping open in a silent groan as he clenches around Niall, making what was already impossibly tight even tighter and Niall doesn’t stand a fucking chance, jerking his hips just once more before he’s coming.

He works himself through it slowly, tiny snaps of his hips, breathing deeply into Zayn’s neck as he rides out his high, trying to stop the tiny white dots from taking over his vision from squeezing his eyes shut so tight.

Niall pulls out slowly, rolling off of Zayn and onto his back. “Holy shit,” he breathes, wiping the faint traces of sweat off his forehead. “Holy fucking shit.” He rolls on his side to see Zayn smiling at him softly, cheeks pink and chest rising and falling rapidly as he tries to catch his breath.

>>+<<

Niall wakes up the next morning alone in Zayn’s bed and a crick in his neck. It’s the most rested he’s felt since he got the news about Jordan and he feels great. His muscles are loose; every part of him feels a little bit better, besides the stiffness in his neck. He had fallen asleep curled up around Zayn, the other boy’s head on his shoulder, tracing patterns on Niall’s stomach.

He stands up slowly, stretching out his limbs before he pulls on a pair of Zayn’s track pants - not really in the mood to rush downstairs to the living room so he can grab his own pants – and sets off in search of Zayn.

He finds him with Chloe in her bedroom, turning the pages in her book as she coos at the pages, babbling happily for the early morning time. Zayn’s fully dressed, dress pants and a button up, ready for work. Niall watches him, wonders how Zayn was able to get ready for the day and take care of Chloe. Normally he’s shoving at Niall’s shoulder, telling him to wake up and take care of the baby, not this morning.

Something’s changed.

“Hey you’re finally awake,” Zayn says and Niall smiles, shuffling into the room. Chloe yells when she spots him, bouncing in Zayn’s arms and reaching out for him.

“Good morning, pretty girl,” Niall coos, taking her from Zayn and kissing her on the head. “And good morning to you, too. You let me sleep in.”

“I did,” Zayn says, nodding. “We thought that you could use the sleep, figured that you could use bit more time recuperating.”

“I could,” Niall admits, shrugging. He’s still not used to waking up early.

“I have to go to work soon,” Zayn mutters, standing up. “Actually in just a few minutes, I was putting off waking you. It’s um, kind of my fault that you were up so late.”

“Oh but it was my pleasure,” Niall mumbles, forcing a blush out of Zayn.

“Yeah well…” Zayn rubs at his nose, reaching out and gently scratching Chloe’s scalp, running his fingers through her thin wisps of hair. “Are you going to be okay with her? I’m sure Harry will watch her, if you need to sleep or whatever. He was going to stop by later tonight, if that’s all right.”

“That’s fine,” Niall shrugs, “And I’ll be great with Chloe, we’re bestest buddies, aren’t we, pretty girl?”

He tickles Chloe’s sides for good measure, watching as she squirms in his arms before he glances back up at Zayn, taking in the smile on his face.

“I should get going,” he says, swallowing before he leans forward and kisses Niall on the cheek. When he pulls away his cheeks are stained red but he’s smiling. “I’ll see you after work.”

Niall watches him go, chewing on his lip. Chloe shouts, slaps him in the chest a couple times, tearing his attention away from the door and towards her.

“I know, I’m in way over my head with this one.”

>>+<<

When Harry shows up later in the evening, he shoves passed Zayn and rushes into the other room to see Chloe, muttering a hello before he disappears.

“Well, good to see you too,” Zayn mumbles, closing the front door and following his best friend into the other room. “Harry, you remember Niall.”

“Of course he does, who could forget this face,” Niall mutters, winking. “It’s not been that long since we’ve seen each other.”

“Well I couldn’t remember. I know you did at the funeral, but I can’t recall a time before that.”

“It was when Chloe was born,” Harry pipes in, eyes wide and tongue out, teasing Chloe. “Niall was hitting on the nurse.”

“I remember,” Zayn says, nodding as he drops down on the couch next to Niall. Niall nudges him with his knee, tilting up one side of his mouth in an attempt of a smile, like he’s apologizing for something that happened months ago. Zayn nudges him with his own knee, accepting his apology.

“Oh Chlobear, what do they have you wearing?” Harry asks, tutting. “What is this?”

“Ah that’s her jersey,” Niall says, sitting up a little straighter. “We’ve got a game on tonight, need my good luck charm dressed up so my team wins.”

“It’s atrocious,” Harry counters, picking up Chloe and lying on his back, holding her in the air and moving her around like she’s an airplane, making these vroosh noises while Chloe squeals in delight.

“Had a dress on her,” Niall replies,” but she had cherries for lunch and you know how she is.”

“Oh did she spit them out on herself?” Zayn asks, tilting his head to the side.

“Yeah, all down the front of her dress.”

“Why wasn’t she wearing a bib?”

“They’re all dirty, I need to do the wash.”

“Oh I’ll get it,” Zayn says, patting Niall on the knee as he stands. “I’ll wash your work shirt while I’m at it, get that out of the way so you’re not rushing to get it clean at three in the morning on Friday…again.”

“Listen here, Malik,” Niall warns, grinning at him. “I just so happened to have forgotten while I was taking care of our baby.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you did,” Zayn mumbles, heading to the laundry room towards the kitchen. He pops open the washing machine and slides the basket in the corner over and starts tossing clothes in, shaking his head when he has to throw Niall’s white socks out of the colored basket.

When he finishes he heads back into the kitchen, checking the time and realizing that he needs to make Chloe a bottle since Niall said she hasn’t had anything since before her nap over two hours ago. He’s making the bottle, moving quickly and going through the motions when Harry stumbles into the kitchen, flicking his curls out of his eyes.

“Ah, Niall sent me in here to make one,” Harry says, motioning towards the bottle. “She just started whining.”

“And she’ll be screaming here shortly,” Zayn mutters, shaking the bottle, mixing the formula with the water. “Her mood changes so quickly.

“I’d bet that’s not the only thing that changes quickly in this house.”

“What are you talking about?” Zayn asks, confused.

“I’m talking about that conversation between you and Niall, the knee knocking and squeezing. What was that?” Harry asks suspiciously.

“You’re out of your mind, Haz, honestly.”

“Right,” Harry says, nodding. “So what happened on your date the other night?”

“What date?”

“The one with the doctor, Louis? It was just last night.”

“Oh. Oh,” Zayn laughs, shaking his head. “It didn’t work out.” He shrugs his shoulders as he brushes past Harry, heading back into the living room where Chloe is screaming and thrashing around in Niall’s arms, well on her way to downright angry.

“Uh oh, look at what he’s got,” Niall says, shifting Chloe around in arms and taking the bottle from Zayn. “Oh that’s a girl, no more screaming. We’re gonna get some food in you, bring you back to being our happy girl.”

“You’d think she was really your daughter the way she acts when she’s hungry,” Zayn jokes, pulling his legs underneath him when he sits down next to Niall, trying not to lean into him. “You both get this crazy grumpy look on your face, except you’re not as loud. We haven’t seen you lash out just yet.”

“I’ve been known to yell,” Niall says seriously.

“No you haven’t.”

“Yes I have, you’d know that if you had gone out to dinner with me that night. I was starving, absolutely out of my mind in hunger.”

“You’re such a liar,” Zayn laughs, shoving at Niall’s shoulder, the side where Chloe’s head isn’t.

“Maybe I am but you still wouldn’t know the difference, ran off before I could even make a left turn on your street.”

“You made a left.”

“Yeah when I was turning around to take you back home.”

Zayn laughs, tossing his head back and pressing further into the couch. It’s the first time that they’ve ever joked about the day that they met, and it’s different, but it’s nice to laugh about it after two years of feeling angry, two years of wanting to wring Niall’s neck for what he did, but now he’s laughing about it, watching as Niall’s entire face scrunches up as he laughs along with him.

When Zayn looks up Harry is staring at him, studying him carefully and Zayn tries to ignore it, turning his attention away from him and back to Niall.

>>+<<

Their final inspection comes a week later, after a week of… Zayn’s not really sure what the last week has been besides a rapid improvement in terms of their relationship, just little things that have always been buried under the foundation of their relationship, but there is no longer this animosity, no negative feelings, and it’s nice, not just for Zayn’s own sanity but for Chloe, because now he doesn’t wonder what it’s going to be like raising a child with someone he can hardly stand, but rather what it might be like raising a child with someone he cares about, someone he enjoys, someone he could potentially grow to love, which is such an absurd thought to have.

They’ve barely been on each other’s good side for a week and Zayn’s already feeling it, this burning desire for more. And maybe it’s already been there, underneath the snarky comments and the name-calling, the teasing and the poking fun at each other was this want, this desire to be together that both of them were fighting.

It’d explain the insatiable need they have for each other now, why they’re always making out on the couch and fucking in Zayn’s bed…but then again, maybe not.

It’s during said make out session that there’s a knock on the door, Chloe’s upstairs napping so when Niall pulls away from him, sliding off his lap, the first sound of Zayn’s mouth is heavy sigh of relief, because it’s been a long day. Chloe had woken up at five screaming, refusing to go back to sleep and refusing to sleep until now, a little after four.

“That better not be Ed,” Zayn says, remembering what Niall said about giving Ed a hard time for not stopping by to see the baby in a while.

“Well, it better not be Harry,” Niall counters, furrowing his eyebrows and trying to look stern.

Zayn snorts, rubbing his thumb across Niall’s forehead, smoothing out the wrinkles he’s forcing there. “Put your shirt on, I’ll go see who it is.”

There’s a second knock by the time Zayn gets to the door, pulling it open to reveal Liam, the social worker. “Oh, god. We weren’t expecting you,” he says, smoothing down his shirt and running a nervous hand through his hair, like Liam can sense what he and Niall were just doing. “Come in, come in. The house is a mess, I’m so sorry. Chloe’s been moving a lot lately, we think she’s getting ready to walk.”

“No, it’s fine,” Liam assures him, smiling as he steps inside. “I’ve seen much worse, believe me.”

“Niall’s just in the other room, so um. Can I get you anything to drink?”

“No, that’s fine, thank you. I won’t be long today, the final visit is the quickest usually.”

Zayn nods, smiling as he takes the seat next to Niall, feeling unusually nervous, and not because he’s worried that Liam knows what’s going on between them, or because he cares, really, but because this it, the final visit that determines if they’re allowed to permanently have full custody of Chloe.

“How’s everything going?” Liam asks, pulling a pen out of his shirt pocket, clicking and pressing pen to paper. “How is everything with Chloe?”

“She’s great,” Niall answers. “She’s been moving a ton lately, we just bought a couple new gates to put around the stairs, she’s finally discovered those. We’re still having a little difficulty introducing food that’s a bit chunkier, even though she loves the, um. What’s it called?”

“The hand food, the snacks and stuff. She loves those,” Zayn says, nodding. “She’s actually due for shots soon, it took some time finding her old doctor and getting him to forward her files, somehow it all got lost. I don’t really know what happened, but it’s figure out now, luckily.”

“That’s good, that’s great,” Liam mutters, still grinning and Zayn wonders if that smile is ever knocked off his face, or if he’s permanently stuck in a smile, even when he’s angry, or if it’s just a front he puts on for people like Niall and Zayn to make them feel comfortable, make them feel like they can trust him with their issues before he takes away their children. “Now what about the two of you?”

“The two of us?” Zayn repeats, glancing at Niall briefly.

“Yeah, your both still doing well on the job front…”

“Oh right, right. Um, yeah. They’re going great,” Zayn says, nodding. “About as well as any job.”

He turns to look at Niall to see him nodding. “No complaints from me, it’s about the same as it’s always been.”

Liam nods and writes a few more things down on the paper in front of him and Zayn thinks about how boring their sheets must be, he and Niall have never really given Liam any kind of answer that requires him to write paragraphs upon paragraphs on paper.

Zayn looks over and Niall, sees him already looking at him, motioning towards Liam and pulling a face. Zayn bites back a smile, shoving at Niall’s knee to make him stop.

“You know, I’ve got to tell you that this is one of the easiest cases that I’ve had,” Liam says, capping his pen and shoving it back in his pocket, tearing Zayn and Niall’s attention back to him. “I mean, given the circumstances and everything, losing your friends and then gaining a child, it’s hard, but from what I can see, you’ve handled this seamlessly, almost like you made for this role.”

Zayn blushes at the words, reaching blindly for Niall’s hand, squeezing it.

“And it’s been easy for me to make this decision, especially when these visits have mostly been about making sure that you’re both holding up all right, and that you’re in a proper state of mind and that there weren’t any red flags as far as taking care of Chloe goes,” Liam explains, taking a deep breath. “And there haven’t been, which is why tomorrow morning I’ll be speaking to the judge to ensure that he understands you’re the best there is for that little girl.”

Zayn blanks, swallowing thickly and licking his lips. “What does that- um, what does that mean?”

“I think he’s saying that Chloe is ours,” Niall says, his voice quiet, or maybe it’s the ringing in Zayn’s hears drowning him out, he’s not sure.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying,” Liam replies, grinning, standing up. “Congratulations, you both deserve it and I hope that, in some way, it’ll give you the closure that you’re looking for.”

“Oh, my god,” Zayn mumbles, his grip on Niall so unbearable tight. “Thank you so much. I don’t even know what to say. Holy shit. Thank you.”

“No, don’t thank me,” Liam says, shaking his head. “I’ll see myself out, I’m sure you want to celebrate the good news before the baby wakes, and once again, congratulations.”

“Thanks,” Niall mutters, still staring at the place that Liam was just sitting, a faraway look in his eyes. Zayn’s grinning at him and when he hears the door click closed, signaling Liam’s departure, he jumps, wrapping himself around Niall and kissing him deeply, tongue and all.

“She’s our,” Zayn says, pushing up on his elbows to look down at Niall. “We did it. Can you believe it?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Niall mumbles, nodding. “It’s amazing.”

“Well god, try and contain your excitement a bit,” Zayn sighs, sitting up and moving off of Niall. “It’s practically oozing out of you.”

Niall shakes his head, running his fingers through his blond hair, leaving it messy on the top. “No, god. That’s not it, of course I’m happy. It’s just. They’re gone, Jordan and Maggie are gone, and this kind of. It makes it more real, you can’t pretend that they’re on vacation any longer.”

“Yeah,” Zayn sighs, reaching out to run his own fingers through Niall’s hair, fixing it. “But this is what they wanted, these were their last wishes to have us raise her, and it’s amazing to know that nothing can get in the way of that anymore.”

>>+<<

Niall stares at the laptop screen in front of him, the one displaying the open email he received three days ago, the one that’s going to change his life. He’s been looking at it for an hour, tapping his fingers on the device steadily and methodically, thinking.

It’s everything he ever wanted wrapped in a digital package.

It’s everything he ever wanted, but nothing that he should want now, not now that he has Chloe.

It’s everything he ever wanted, everything he’s been hoping for, everything that he’s been praying would happen for him, and here it is laid out in a black text on a white screen.

He can’t say no to it, he just can’t, and he hopes that Zayn understands.

“Hey there you are,” Zayn says and Niall closes his laptop quickly, slamming it shut and sliding it across the desk of Jordan’s off. “What are you doing?”

“What? Oh nothing,” Niall shrugs. “Um. Ed sent me something, asked me to take a look at it, so I was just doing that. Did you need me?”

“No,” Zayn replies, leaning against the doorframe. “You just disappeared after Chloe went to sleep, was just wondering where you ran off to. You said it was an easy day with her, so I assumed that you’d not run and hide like you do when she’s cranky.”

“Wasn’t hiding,” Niall lies, sighing.

“Well, do you want to go watch a movie or something? I don’t have lesson plans to do tonight, so I thought it’d be nice to just relax for a bit, if you want to join.”

“Yeah, yeah, that sounds good,” Niall replies, scratching at the back of his neck. He’s nervous, and rightfully so, because they’ve come so far in their relationship. They can tolerate each other, well, that’s an understatement to say the least, because despite the fact he’s always thought that Zayn’s had a bit of stick up his ass, Niall’s always been attracted to him, always secretly wondered what would have happened that night if he had taken it a bit more seriously, if it would be as easy as it is now.

Because everything is easy between them, even when they fought it was easy, easy and carefree…natural is the word that Niall would use, if anyone asked him, but no one is going to ask him, not even Zayn, not after what Niall’s about to tell him, because he has to.

It’s apart of the package, not the digitally gift wrapped one in his computer, but the one they inherited with Chloe, this family package. He has to tell Zayn about opportunities like this, about decisions that’s he’s made that will affect everyone. It’s only fair, and he’d want the same thing if the rolls were reversed.

“I want to talk to you about something first,” Niall says, scratching at his chin. “It’s kind of important.”

“Is everything okay?” Zayn asks, his voice laced with concern.

“Yeah. I mean, I don’t really know. Maybe.”

“Maybe?”

“Do you, um. Do you remember when I was looking for jobs not that long ago?”

“Yeah,” Zayn says, nodding slowly. “What about it?”

“Well, I got one. Um, it’s really great, actually. It’s at an independent record company, you know, really small, but still. It’s really small, but it’s a great job.”

“Niall, that’s amazing,” Zayn exclaims, grinning, moving across the room and Niall knows that he’s going to pull him for a hug, so he quickly blurts:

“It’s seven hours away.”

“Oh,” Zayn mumbles, ceasing his moments, his smile instantly disappearing. “That’s not the worst part of this, is it?”

Niall shakes his head. “I accepted it.”

“You accepted it?”

Niall nods. “I just got an email a little while ago, with all the information that I’ll need, things I need to study up on, clients and such. They’re going to set me up with a place to stay, help me get settled and everything.”

Zayn’s silent for a moment and it’s excruciating, almost unbearable, Niall wants to ask him to say something, anything to make Niall feel better about this, but in a situation like this, Niall doesn’t have that honor, so he waits and watches as Zayn tries to process the information given to him.

“You’re leaving us?”

“No,” Niall says, shaking his head, because, “it’s not like that.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Zayn says bitterly. “I must have not understood the part about taking a job seven hours away. Can you explain it to me? Can you tell me how it’s going to be humanly possible for you to be here with Chloe and at your new job?”

“I can come back on the weekends, or whenever. It’s not on the other side of the planet, it’s just-“

“Not here. It’s not here.”

Niall sighs, nodding. “Yeah, it’s not here.”

“What the fuck, Niall,” Zayn shouts, switching from disbelief to anger in a second, the emotions flashing across his face, making Niall swallow thickly, because he caused that, he did this. “What the fuck.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, fuck you and your apology,” he says, breathing deeply. “I should have known, you know? You’ve always been irresponsible and childish, always thinking of yourself. Why should this be any different? Why should I have thought that’d you changed?”

“That’s not fair,” Niall spits up, finally standing up from his chair to look Zayn in his eyes at the same level. “I wasn’t being selfish when I made this decision. I was thinking about Chloe.”

“Right, I’m sure you were,” Zayn scoffs, shaking his head. “Will you write that on the postcard you send her? The one that you’re going to send after you get settled into your new life, when the visits finally stop.”

“I’m not going to forget about her, I’m not going to abandon her,” Niall says, feeling himself begin to get angry, because that’s not what he’s doing. That’s not what he was trying to accomplish by getting a new job. He needs to establish himself, needs to find a job that’s good enough to be a father, if that’s even what he is.

Zayn’s a teacher, he knows where he’s going and he’s happy. He wakes up every morning and knows what he’s doing. Niall doesn’t, he’s never had that, just unachievable dreams inside his head, but this is a step in the right direction, and he wants to be something that Chloe could be proud of, not some guy that teaches guitar a couple times a week.

“You’re not going to forget her?” Zayn asks, the anger gone from his voice. “But what about me? What about-“

“Us?” Niall finishes for him. Zayn nods, folding his arms in front of his chest and it’s not a sign of being defensive, but one of protecting himself. And Niall doesn’t know what to say, because it’s new, it wasn’t like this when he was applying for jobs. It was the morning after their first night together that he accepted it, thinking that everything would go back to normal, back to when Zayn had the stick up his ass and gave Niall a hard time, back to their playful and sometimes not-so-playful banter, but it didn’t.

“You know what, whatever,” Zayn sighs, shaking his head, his shoulders set and expression hard. “Have fun with your new job, Niall, and congratulations.”

“Zayn,” Niall starts but Zayn shakes his head again, disappearing out of the room. Niall listens to his footsteps leave the room, listens as his door clicks shut at the end of the hallway and he knows that’s it.

They’re back to where they were before, back to the Niall and Zayn that started the day that Niall hurt him for the first time.

>>+<<

Niall leaves a week later, a kiss to Chloe’s cheek and a small wave out his car window when he goes. He leaves behind a baby, and he leaves behind the broken fragments of Zayn’s heart.

>>+<<

“Harry, would you be willing to feed Chloe lunch while I finish these dishes and then get started on the laundry? I don’t have any clean pants for work tomorrow, and I really need to get a load done,” Zayn says, resting against the counter, watching Harry sneak Chloe some of her puffs, the ones that he asked him not to because her lunch would be spoiled.

“Does this not count as lunch?” Harry asks, trying his best to smile, but it’s more of an awkward grimace at being caught.

“No, those don’t count as lunch.”

“I’ve seen her eat these as lunch,” Harry counters, sighing as he puts the can of puffs on the counter, much to Chloe’s dismay. “Niall used to give her these all the time.”

“You know, if it’s not too much to ask, I’d really appreciate it if you could just, not mention him?” Zayn asks and Harry shrugs.

“It’s been three weeks, Zayn. I know that you like to think that you’re okay, and that talking about it will only make you look weak, or whatever it is you’re thinking, but it’s not true,” Harry says, his back towards Zayn as he digs around the cabinets for Chloe’s food, probably deciding what sounds best. “When you first met Niall, you talked about that date for months, you’d tell anything that listened, but now… Now you’re silent, and if you think about it, which I just did right now, you’re always talking about Niall, funny things he did, annoying things he did. Everything. But not this.”

“He’s just gone, Harry. When he calls I let him babble to Chloe for a while, he doesn’t even try to say anything to me. He had a week, an entire week he was here with me, didn’t try to fix anything then,” Zayn says, shrugging his shoulders. “He just doesn’t care, so neither do I.”

“I understand why you’re trying to be strong, but Chloe’s not old enough to understand that your heart is broken. She’s not, so you don’t have to hold it together all the time for her.”

“Harry.”

“No, listen to me. I’ll feed the baby lunch, I will, but when you’re in the laundry room, just staring at the basket of clothes, thinking about what Niall’s doing, if he’s wondering about you, missing you, know that you’re not fooling anyone, because I can see right through you, Zayn Malik,” Harry says, nodding firmly. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a baby just dying to eat this banana, raspberry, brown rice goop.”

“Knock yourself out,” Zayn mutters, disappearing into the laundry room. He shuts the door behind himself, leans against it and takes a deep breath.

It’s been an entire week of going through the motions, taking care of Chloe on his own and he’s fine. It’s not an ideal situation, paying the college grad down the street, one that he found on a list of contacts on Maggie and Jordan’s fridge to watch Chloe while he works, and then spending the evening balancing the things he has to do with her and lesson plans, creating tests, and everything else that he drags home from school every night.

He’s exhausted and it has nothing to do with Niall flaking out on his responsibilities. And well, maybe it does. Maybe it has everything to do with Niall leaving, but not because of his own feelings, how Niall made him feel, not because of the way his chest aches, how sometimes he catches himself staring blankly at the wall, wondering how they did a complete three-sixty with their relationship, going from not being able to stand each other to not having enough of enough other and then ending up in a place where Zayn wants to burn every reminder of Niall. Take them all, every last memory and turn them to ash and watch as they float away in the evening breeze.

But none of that has anything to do with why he’s exhausted, why he calls Harry over for help. It’s because he didn’t sign up to be a single parent, and through he’s doing it, Zayn has a whole new respect for women, because he can’t do it. He can’t.

He’s trying, but it’s hard, and he’s not sure how much longer he can carry on with the path that he’s on.

>>+<<

“It looks like it’s just us now, Chlo,” Zayn mumbles, resting his chin on the edge of her tray, watching as she shoves her yogurt melts in her mouth, pink drool spilling from between her lips. “That’s a good look for you.”

Chloe hums, crinkling her nose at him as she chews.

“Are these any good?” Zayn asks, grabbing one of the melts and popping it in his mouth. It’s dry at first, like chalk and bland. He wants to spit it back out, but Chloe’s looking at him, grinning and kicking her feet; like she knows that they’re sharing snacks. When he swallows is when he tastes the actual strawberry flavoring, and it’s not bad, actually. “It’s not my favorite, but at least I know what all the craze is about, huh?”

Chloe scrunches up her face and screams, and then mumbles something that sounds like ‘dadadadada’ over and over again.

“Oh baby, no that’s not. I’m Zayn. Can you say Zayn?”

Chloe repeats it the same ‘dadadada’ sounds over and over again. And he knows, realistically, that she’s not talking to him, she’s not calling him dada or trying to get his attention, she’s making sounds, working out the basics before she can form actual words, but it’s… It’s that sound, it’ll mean something soon enough, and it’s right after Niall left, right after he’s gone and it’s just Zayn so it stings a bit, for some reason unknown.

Zayn sighs and stands, standing up and pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Let’s get some dinner, hmm? How about that squash and sweet peas, can we do that? Will eat squash and sweet peas for me?”

Chloe shouts, bangs her fists on the table and grabs another melt, shoving it into her mouth. It’s not an answer, but Zayn’s going to pretend that it’s confirmation that she’ll eat it.

>>+<<

Parent teacher conferences are Zayn’s least favorite time of year, meeting with twenty different sets of parents to talk about twenty different kids. Usually it goes by smoothly, most parents don’t show up, but there are some, the parents that want to sit with you for twenty minutes to discuss why their son or daughter isn’t doing so well, talk to you about their behavioral problems and suggestions for improvement.

It’s worn him out completely, which is why he’s thrilled to be getting home to see Chloe in time to put her to bed, he thinks that maybe he’ll bring her in his bed, curl up with her and go to sleep as well, a little after eight is just the right bedtime after dealing with parents.

“Rory?” Zayn calls, dropping his things in the foyer, kicking the door closed as he stumbles through the house. “I’m sorry for being late, there were these parents, their son is failing and they wanted to discuss reasons why their son was failing, it was a nightmare.” He fumbles to a stop when he reaches the living room and sees Niall sitting on the couch, his hands folded in his lap. He jumps up when he sees Zayn, standing awkwardly on the other side of the room.

“What are you doing here?”

“I um-“

“I didn’t think you were supposed be visiting yet, you didn’t call. Did you call?” Zayn asks, looking at the wall instead of Niall.

“I didn’t, no,” Niall says quietly, shaking his head.

“Where’s Chloe?” asks Zayn, glancing around the room in search of the baby’s location. It’s quiet, the low hum from the baby monitor filling the air, his question already answered.

“I put her to bed a little bit ago, it took a while to convince the babysitter of who I was. I’m assuming that’s Rory?” Zayn nods. “Right, well. She’s good, was glad that she didn’t try and leave when I used my key and said who I was. She properly questioned me.”

Zayn nods because he knows that Rory is good, she wouldn’t have been listed under Maggie and Jordan’s contacts if she wasn’t, but he doesn’t care to talk about her and he knows that Niall doesn’t either. Niall’s dancing around the subject, avoiding the real reason that he’s here.

“What are you doing here, Niall?” Zayn asks again, toeing off his shoes and watching Niall carefully.

Niall shrugs. “I wanted to come back.”

“Right, well. I’m sure Chloe was happy to see you. And thanks for waiting until I got back, sorry it was long, we had conferences at school,” Zayn sighs, loosening his tie. “How long until you have to go back?”

“I don’t know,” Niall shrugs.

“You don’t know?”

Niall shakes his head. “I don’t have a job anymore there, not much of a reason to stay I don’t think.”

“Oh, well, I’m sorry that it didn’t work out. I know how much you were looking forward to it, I’m sure you’ll find a new job.”

“It didn’t work out because I quit,” Niall admits and Zayn finally tears his gaze away from Niall’s shoulder to look into his eyes, shocked. “It took me about five minutes after I told you about the job to realize that I made the wrong decision, and nearly a month to work up the courage to admit that to you, so. I quit.”

“I don’t. I don’t understand,” Zayn mutters, confused. “Why would you quit? I thought you wanted that job, thought it was everything you ever wanted.”

“Professionally, it’s what I thought I wanted, yeah. I tried it and it didn’t really make me happy, always getting yelled at to do something, getting told off when I did something wrong, people cracking jokes at my expense. It was tiring, not really worth it when I knew what I was leaving behind. I loved my job with Ed, even though it made me feel inadequate, especially after we got Chloe, but. I don’t know. It’s not really worth it to get told off for messing something up when it’s not being done by you.”

“I don’t tell you off,” Zayn mumbles quietly, because he doesn’t know how to respond to the rest of it, it takes his breath away, makes him feel like he’s choking on air. “Well, not all the time.”

“No, just most of the time,” Niall laughs, shaking his head, “but I don’t mind it, not from you. I like knowing that I’m occupying your mind.”

“But you left,” Zayn says, because he can’t forget that detail, the one that hurts the most. It feels like he’s finally got his breath back, finally able to use his lungs again and his heart is no longer sputtering now that Niall is back, but it doesn’t change what happened.

“I did,” Niall sighs.

Zayn bites his bottom lip, teeth sinking into the skin brutally. “It hurt,” he admits quietly. “It was like, we were just approved to be a family together and you bailed. It felt like it was because of me, not because you wanted a new job.”

“It had nothing to do with you, at all,” Niall says firmly, emphasizing his point strongly. “I just wanted to be enough, wanted to feel like I was worth all this, you and Chloe, this house, all of it. And I guess I didn’t really think about you guys like I should have.”

Zayn nods, taking a deep breath. “It really hurt, Niall.”

“I’m really sorry,” Niall mumbles, frowning and then shrugging. “And I really like you, an absurd amount of like. Like, I think I might have always liked you. Was always calling you the prettiest, always said how amazing you’d look if you just let loose, pulled the stick out of your ass, and-“

“I do not have a stick up my ass. You’ve that this whole time?” Zayn mutters, shoving at Niall’s shoulder playfully. “What’s wrong with you?”

“See, this is what I was going to say. Somewhere along the lines I think our arguing became flirting.”

“You mean courting,” Zayn corrects, because it feels like it was a build up to this, like they were waiting for the right fight to get together, like those birds that dance to impress their mate, he was waiting for the right dance from Niall.

“I’ll mean whatever you want me to mean,” Niall says, smiling as he steps closer to Zayn. He reaches out slowly, pushing some of the hair out of Zayn’s eyes, sighing deeply. “Would it be all right if I kissed you?”

Zayn doesn’t answer just leans forward and catches Niall’s lips in a kiss, biting down on his thin bottom lip, licking his tongue out against the smooth skin, tasting him, trying to fill in the bits and pieces of himself that were missing Niall, craving him.

“For the record,” Zayn says against Niall’s lips. “You’re more than enough.”

>>+<<

“Oh my goodness, look at my pretty girl,” Niall says, trying not to grunt when he lifts Chloe out of her crib. She’s gotten so big and Niall can’t wait to take her to the doctor this afternoon. He has an ongoing bet with Zayn about how much she weighs, how much she’s grown since her last appointment. Zayn had gotten it right at her one-year and her fifteen months, but Niall can feel it, eighteen months is going to be his.

“Oh,” Chloe repeats, her eyebrows going up as she allows Niall to change her diaper. She wiggles around a bit, so Niall hands her a little butterfly rattle that he discovered keeps her attention long enough for him to get the job done. “Oh.”

“Oh is right, my pretty girl, you didn’t even scream while I changed that diaper,” he says, tickling her sides. “What do you say that we wait until after breakfast to get you dressed? Hmm. Yesterday you got carrots all over your pretty yellow shirt I bought you.”

“Yeyow,” Chloe says, holding her arms in the air for Niall to pick her up.

“You’re too smart. Are you going to grow up and be a genius, get an amazing job and take care of your crazy Dada and Baba?” Niall asks, tickling her sides. It had been a tough decision figuring out what Chloe would grow up to call them, if they’d want to settle into their roles as parents or if they would want to simply be called Niall and Zayn. It wasn’t easy, but knew what Jordan and Maggie would want, as long as Chloe knows that she has another daddy and a mommy.

“Dada!” Chloe shouts, grinning at Niall.

“How come I don’t hear my name being called?”

Niall glances up to see Zayn standing in the doorway, hands on his hips. Chloe squeals at the sight of him, leaning back in Niall’s grip, bouncing.

“Who is that handsome guy?” Niall asks, bouncing Chloe on his hip. “He’s wearing a tie, looks so fancy. Can you say hi to him? Say hi.”

“Hi,” Chloe mumbles, waving at Zayn, flapping her arm up and down. They’ve been working on the coordinated motions of her fingers, but it hasn’t seemed to progress beyond closing her hand and dropping it to her side.

“Yes, that’s so good,” Zayn coos, his voice high, pressing a loud kiss to Chloe’s cheek. “But I’m afraid that it’s bye-bye now. I’ve got to go to work.”

Niall frowns. “Are you sure that you’re not going to be make her appointment, eighteen months is a big one.”

“Yeah, I’m sure. I don’t want to use a sick day on a doctor’s appointment, but promise that you’ll text me everything, please,” Zayn begs, choking a bit when Chloe grabs his tie and yanks. “Hey now big girl, you trying to make Baba not breathe?”

“Baba,” Chloe shouts, slapping her hands together.

“You know she still thinks that we’re talking about a bottle, right?” Niall asks, always happy to give Zayn the really bad news.

“She hasn’t had a bottle for six months, when is she going to realize that’s me?” Zayn groans, shaking his head. “I’ve really got to go now, I’ll see you later, yeah?”

“Of course,” Niall mumbles, accepting the kiss that Zayn gives him, grasping Zayn’s tie so he can’t move, forcing him to give a proper kiss, not one that ends after a second before he’s rushing out of the house. “Now get out of here.”

“All right, see you later,” he calls over his shoulder, leaving Chloe’s room.

“Can you say bye-bye?” Niall asks, waving at Chloe.

“Bye-bye,” Chloe mutters, tilting her head to the side and resting her head on Niall’s shoulder.

**Author's Note:**

> Here's my [tumblr](http://www.alnimawrites.tumblr.com) if you want to yell at me about this or anything :).


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